Thank Goodness It's Monday #389

Isabella Bannerman -- Six Chix for 29 December 2012

WHAT’S ON YOUR MIDNIGHT PLAYLIST?

Auld Lang Syne?

Wow! Then do you remember the Guy Lombardo Orchestra? (Just being a little snarky there.)

 

True enough, Auld  Lang Syne is probably still the Midnight Ball Drop classic and will be for who knows how long. 

But every New Year’s Eve I invariably wonder why. 

My problem: Sung more out of nostalgic habit than conviction, I find it expresses a largely backward looking sentiment. The Scottish phrase “auld lang syne” translates literally as “old long since” and is understood as “times gone by.” But, whether we know that or not, the whole singing of this “holiday classic” seems to me to concentrate our personal focus in the wrong direction. 

Certainly there have been highlights and some very low spots that we can easily recall in the year past. But the days ahead are a blank canvas (as they always are) and the future is optimistic for those who can hold that spirit in their hearts.

So, less than 24 hours from now, many of us will lift a glass and offer up a thought or two appropriate to the spirit of January’s namesake from Roman mythology, Janus, the god of gates, doorways, beginnings, and endings.

Janus was also the patron of concrete and abstract beginnings of the world such as religion and the gods themselves, of human life, new historical ages, and economic enterprises.

Janus is traditionally depicted as having two heads, facing opposite directions. And in his case, being two-faced is a good thing.

The New Year connection: Because he could see into the past with one face and into the future with the other, he was also the figure representing time. 

One head looks back at the last year while the other simultaneously looks forward to the new and so Janus was frequently used to symbolize change and transitions such as the progression of past to future … of one condition to another … of one vision to another … the growing up of young people … and of one universe to another. 

TGIM ACTION IDEA: At midnight on December 31, don’t let Bacchus (the Roman god of wine) or Somnus (the Roman god of sleep) muddle your thinking if you’re inclined to acknowledge the changing year with a toast and a song.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Be Janus-like when you give voice to your sentiments.

 

Here are a few well-said words, origin unknown, that you might appropriate:

Here's a toast to the future …

A toast to the past …

And a toast to our friends, far and near.

May the future be pleasant …

The past a bright dream …

May our friends remain faithful and dear. 

And if you’re going to sing, I suggest –

Turn! Turn! Turn!

It’s Pete Seeger’s music and 1959 adaptation of the words from Ecclesiastes that come to mind for me every New Year’s Eve when Auld Lang Syne plays.

I hope you know it. Maybe you know it as To Everything There Is A Season. Maybe, if you connected immediately to the Guy Lombardo reference at the start you know the popularized-by-The-Byrds Folk Rock hit version of 1965.

If you don’t know it --there are limitless options to investigate. You might start HERE with a YouTube version of the recording I first came to love. The video portion is a bit less than spectacular but Pete’s voice is young (he’s now 93+) and clear and enthusiastic. 

To every thing there is a season,

And a time to every purpose under heaven.

 

And, of course, that’s just the opening line.

There’s more. Much more. Sing it (at least to yourself at midnight). 

And I will offer a toast and wish you –

Happiness and Success in 2013

I swear it’s not too late.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. Speaking of “turning” … Another midnight playlist possibility is Simple Gifts, a Shaker song written and composed in 1848 by Elder Joseph Brackett (1797–1882). These are the lyrics to his one-verse Dancing Song:

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #388

 ‘TIS THE TGIM

FOR THE DAY OF

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

"It ain't rocket science." You know the phrase, of course.  Well, I have a social media friend – Randy Cassingham – who actually worked at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. 

There, of course, many things really were (and are) “rocket science.” 

So as you might expect, there was a fairly nerdy crowd working around Randy and there was a tradition of sharing a fairly nerdy version of the Christmas classic properly titled “A Visit from St. Nicholas” – the 19^th Century poem historically attributed to New Yorker Clement Clarke Moore. 

A Visit from St. Nicholas
-- one of four known copies
handwritten by
Clement Clarke Moore.Credit: New-York Historical Society
 

Randy takes credit for, back in the day, converting what he calls an Nth-generation photocopy of the JPL-nerd version into an electronically shareable document. And recently he shared it with the wider world via social media.

Here’s the opening of Rocket Scientist version:

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our domicile, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as mus musculus.

The additional 663 words (and you thought I was long winded) of the "modernized" classic are HERE.

TGIM Challenge: It’s interesting to think that virtually anyone reading this TGIM message can easily appreciate the Rocket Scientist “translation” because the original is so well known to English-reading folks of all creeds, races or geographic derivations. 

You don’t have to be “Christian” in almost any sense to know and relate to the underlying spirit of the season captured and celebrated in the 1823 poem or, say, Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol” which appeared about 20 years later. 

They’re largely secular and about “the Spirit of the Season,” not the religiosity per se.

TGIM Takeaway: And at this time of the year, so should we all be. The specifics of our celebrations may vary. (Or, if you’re like me, you revel in the idea of embracing as much of as many as you can.) But I continue to insist that at the core –

It’s all about the light. Beacons of hope.  Moments of illumination.  Glimmers of insight. The promise of brighter tomorrows. Miracles of light and enlightenment.  Lights fantastic.

►   Christmas with its advent wreaths, trees, and other lighted decorations and –

►   Hanukkah (just past) and its menorah candles are easy to relate to for many of us.

►   Kwanza’s got candles.

►   Diwali, a five-day Hindu festival that usually falls between mid-October and mid-November is popularly known as a Festival of Lights.

►   Winter Solstice observances are certainly all about the light, or lack of it.

►   Mōdraniht or Mothers' Night was the Saxon winter solstice festival.

►   Saturnalia was the Roman winter solstice festival.

►   Yalda is a Persian commemoration, that corresponds with the Solstice, and celebrates the birth of Mithras to a virgin mother.

►   Pancha Ganapati is a December 21–25 festival in honor of Lord Ganesha.

►   Soyal is the winter solstice ceremony of the Zuni and the Hopi in the Americas, the main purpose of which is to ceremonially bring the sun back from its long winter slumber.

►   The Dōngzhì Festival, with origins that can be traced back to the yin and yang philosophy of balance and harmony in the cosmos, is one of the most important festivals celebrated by the Chinese and other East Asians on or around December 22 when sunshine is weakest and daylight shortest.

►   Malkh is a December 25 birthday celebration and Festival of the Sun for the Vainakh people of the North Caucasus which include the modern Chechens and Ingush, who are today predominantly Muslim in religion.

►   Bodhi Day, December 8, is likewise a Day of Enlightenment, celebrating the day that the historical Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) experienced enlightenment. 

Enlightening? I hope so. Tis the season to be enlightened.

 

But enough of this “geeky” factual roundup. 

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Know what you believe and why. Your core beliefs need to be your own, arrived at freely.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Like exploring the history and traditions of seasonal celebrations, look for evidence yourself. Dig down. Get back to the source as you gather facts. Make your decisions based on your informed research and insight. Decide what works for you and use it.

Then –

Don’t hide your light. It’s also a season for giving -- especially in my neck of the northeast USA in the wake of Superstorm Sandy and the tragic Sandy Hook School events. And in the spirit of transitioning from darkness to light, one of the best gifts you can give at this or any time of the year is –

The gift of yourself --

your love,

your time,

your thoughtful involvement.

Several years ago my friend and “Best Year Ever” program and Life Lessons from Superman partner Eric Taylor and I shared a holiday message about this gift that keeps on giving. We pointed out that –

This enlightened and enlightening gift of yourself is something that everyone wants … one size fits all … requires no last minute shopping or trips to the mall … is essentially free … and, no wrapping is required.

It’s that simple. But the gift of yourself is surely what those you care most about and really want. And, when you ponder and understand the fullness of the concept, you’ll know that it’s the only gift of lasting value that you alone can give.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Give the enlightened and enlightening gift of yourself, your love and your time and your involvement, unconditionally, now and throughout the New Year. You’ll soon realize this cost-free present will yield an abundance of riches for the giver and the receiver far greater than you could ever imagine.

One last cool thing about this gift: It’s a gift that’s sure to be “returned” to you in so many ways.

What more could a giver ask for?

Citing St. Nick … as cited by Clement Clarke Moore … with added emphasis by me –

“Happy Christmas to ALL,

and to ALL a good night."

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com 

P.S. Or, to close citing the Rocket Scientist version: “Ecstatic yuletides to the planetary constituance, and to that self-same assemblage my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunset and dawn!”

 

P.P.S. My personal kidhood version of the holiday classic looked like this --

 

 

and featured some "animated" illustration at every turn -- a double-page pop-up Santa, reindeer & sleigh that moved in the sky, sugarplums you could make "dance," hinged shutters that opened to a window that slid up to reveal "The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow." It was a wonder!

Thank Goodness It's Monday #387

UNDERSTANDING THE MYSTERIOUS MAYA

ANDTHE LESSON THEY DIDN’T LEARN

My plan for the end of the Mayan long-count calendar 13^th b'ak'tun? (December 21, 2012 if you somehow missed the news.)



Mayan Astronomy
as depicted in The Dresden Codex*



Par-tay! While others may be counting down the k’in (= the Mayan unit for days) with dread … heading for the survivalist hills … expecting a cosmic crash with some as yet detected planet …or digging in to weather some other apocalyptic catastrophe, my view is this: 

TGIM Takeaway:

What matters most is today.

 

How do you live today? How you live each day has more effect on what occurs after December 21, 2012 than any misunderstood interpretation of the history of a little understood people.

In order to better establish the link between this quasi-philosophical TGIM Takeaway and a panicky end-of-the-world mindset, let’s first establish some facts about –

The mysterious Maya. Maya history as we know it firsthand begins with Christopher Columbus. The Admiral of the Ocean Sea met a trading party of “locals” off the coast of Honduras on his fourth (and last) voyage in 1502. The story goes, when asked where they came from the reply was, “from a province called Maiam.”

In fact the ancient Mayan world encompassed much of the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico, Belize, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador. But following quickly on the heels of Columbus came other conquistadors and their attendant clerics who fairly well erased large chunks of Mayan history that otherwise might have informed our modern understanding. 

Then they moved on. And the jungle-shrouded existence of the Maya was all but forgotten until 1839 when explorers John Lloyd Stephens and Frederick Catherwood began surveying the area.

Stephens wrote: “… architecture, sculpture, and painting, all arts which embellish life, had flourished in this overgrown forest; orators, warriors, and statesmen, beauty, ambition, and glory had lived and passed away, and none knew that such things had been or could tell of their past existence.”

Impressive, right? And that led to a growing modern interest in the Mayan world that can now be traced back to 2000 BCE origins. The intervening years of archaeological study fill in much, but hardly all, detail.

The monumental architecture is now well known – the ceremonial centers dominated by pyramids, plazas, platforms, ball courts and palaces. These areas were ruled by leaders who, in constant rivalry with their neighbors, created a resource drain that contributed to the downfall of the Mayan civilization.

What does this have to do with December 21, 2012?

 

Some of the intellectual achievements of the Maya are as impressive as the architecture, most notably in the related areas of astronomy, mathematics and calendar making. 

Although they were rather fond of bloodletting and human sacrifice, and didn’t figure out the keystone arch or come up with a useful wheel, the Maya grasped the concept of zero and created a symbol for it long before the European world which overran them. 

Do the math. Using that symbol (and only two others) they developed a system based on the number 20. Reminder: We traditionally use a base of 10.

 

That mathematical ability, coupled with detailed observations of the heavens, enabled them to predict eclipses and create calendars as accurate in their way as the one in current use.

So the Maya mystery is: How and why did this civilization, so highly developed in some respects, disappear so quickly and completely?

The current pieced-together scholarly answer brings us back to December 21, 2012.

Unfortunately the calendar was not only a guide to keeping time, but was viewed as a predictor of the future, with each day having omens and associations – what Mayanist Michael Coe called “… a kind of perpetual fortune-telling machine guiding the destinies of the Maya ….”

Many contemporary theorists now feel that the strong belief of Mayan leaders in the predictive power of their calendar precipitated the downfall of the Mayan civilization. 

More specifically: Much like today, it seems that the end of a calendar cycle in 790 CE was believed to predestine political upheaval.

In their book Ancient Mysteries writers Peter James and Nick Thorpe conclude: “Warfare, social unrest, and invasions were therefore inevitable and should not be stopped because they were ingrained in the very fabric of the universe. Indeed wars became more bloody as rulers of neighboring cities fought during this ordained time of war, sacrificing their captives to feed the demands of the gods. Tired of watching their world fall apart as aristocrats did nothing but fight among themselves, the peasants took matters into their own hands.”

Whether this view of the disappearance of the mysterious Maya is entirely accurate, or whether it’s a contributing factor – along with overpopulation, disease, drought, or other natural disasters and capped by the invasion of the conquistadors – there’s still a TGIM lesson or two for us in the 21^st Century.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: What you do and how you think today has more impact on what occurs in your life in the days ahead than anything anyone suggests is planned outside of you.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: How you live each moment dictates tomorrow. No hocus-pocus, alignment of stars or calendar dates has greater power.

As we’ll probably remind you once again when 2012 rolls over to New Year 2013, a calendar is a very arbitrary thing; a human-made contrivance with starts and stops and steps in between that suit the planning and time management of the solar/lunar/seasonal cycles they measure. 

• They are structures we can use to our benefit if we endeavor to do so.
• Or they can lead to our downfall if we foolishly let a misplaced adherence to them dictate our future actions.

The future lies within. Being driven by the calendar – any calendar – or by the “wisdom” of the crowd shared via contemporary technology, may not serve as well as being guided by “good old gut reaction” – that established-by-experience instinct that tells you what action is right for you and when the time for action is right.

What goes around comes around.  Or vice versa. There seems to be no evidence that the Mayans themselves believed that the current version of creation would come to an end at its 13^th b'ak'tun. A five-numeral count will reset after the 13^th b'ak'tun, but this is celebrated as the completion of a cycle, and was not necessarily seen as a doomsday event by Mayan culture.

So let’s get ready to par-tay! If you're concerned about the fate of mankind, there are more pressing issues than the end of the Mayan calendar. If you’re considering making some sort of Maya “New B'ak'tun” Resolutions, keep the opportunities to create a brighter future in mind.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. "We are not myths of the past, ruins in the jungle or zoos. We are people and we want to be respected, not to be victims of intolerance and racism." Rigoberta Menchú said that. 

Why are we quoting her here, today? 

Here’s the Maya connection: She is an indigenous Guatemalan, of the K'iche' ethnic group who has dedicated her life to publicizing the plight of Guatemala's indigenous peoples during and after the Guatemalan Civil War (1960–1996), and to promoting indigenous rights in the country.

 

Menchú is a UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador. And, in case you missed it, she received the 1992 Nobel Peace Prize.

 

* In addition to a sophisticated number system the Maya had also developed a written language. However, because the Spanish conquerors were appalled at the religious practices of the meso-Americans they viewed anything not connected with their European-style religious beliefs, especially the writings about astronomy, as evil and to be destroyed. So only a few examples of the Maya codices survive. These codices are now named after the European cities where they eventually re-appeared.

Probably the best preserved is the Dresden Codex pictured here. It is a detailed account of the astronomical observations of the Maya.

The huge effort and accurate measurements of the Maya do not seem to be applied toward an effort to understand how or why the sky appears as it does. Instead, the heavens are treated as an immense, accurate piece of clockwork that is used in the same sense as the signs of astrology, to predict the future.

We can admire the technical skills of the Maya astronomers, be awed by the resources their society put into their temple/observatories, and even speculate that, given time, they might have produced a Maya genius who would have bent their effort into a more scientific direction.

However, so far as it went, their astronomy was a scientific dead end.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #386

PERSONALIZE YOUR GUIDING PRINCIPLES 

The young-ish Zig
with his chrome pump prop
presumably delivering his signature
"Priming The Pump" lesson
which you can read
HERE.
 

Is there a TGIM reader who doesn’t know that the motivational, sales-training legend Zig Ziglar recently departed this mortal coil?

I doubt it. For days after his death fully half of my social media business friends posted their favorite Ziglar-isms. 

And I filled in the “Comments” box with mine:

“Expect the best.

Prepare for the worst.

Capitalize on what comes.” 

Hilary Hinton "Zig" Ziglar

(November 6, 1926 – November 28, 2012)

But before we go too far down that path: As good as many of them are, specific Zig-conceived sales, management, or self-improvement principles are NOT going to be our main focus today.

Here’s why: Such principles are easy to understand, especially when carefully conceived and presented in Zig’s most charming, homespun, appealing way.

What’s hard is living up to them. 

There’s little doubt that Zig was true to the principles he espoused. 

But how often can you point to folks who parrot such truisms but don’t practice what they parrot? (Not my social media friends/ posters, of course. But all those others … you know who they are.)

Too damn often, I’d say. So …

Maybe we can identify part of the cause and find some useful corrective action.

The problem as I see it is -- 

The principles aren’t specific enough. 

Or they aren’t personal enough. Proverbial advice and general admonitions suffer from a lack of depth. People pay lip service to them, but they don’t necessarily know how to apply them.

And that’s also true of proven-in-action, quantifiably established strategies like management principles as well as “softer” proverbial wisdom.

Case in point: One rising corporate type I worked with devoted himself to the ongoing study of management science, hoping to develop a more effective “executive” style. 

He sought out and read the latest available material in the discipline. He took self-improvement courses on-line as well as in a classroom setting. He could easily recall and report the self-improvement lessons he had been exposed to. Yet in practice, nothing he learned seemed to work the way it should.

He was frustrated because he knew the principles cold, but somehow was unable to apply them to his satisfaction.

“I even leave notes to myself on my desk,” he said. “But they haven’t helped.” He still acted in the same old way.

After chatting with him at length in a catalyst/coaching capacity it became clear that, while he truly wanted to apply these management principles, he resisted them for some deeper, personal, emotional reasons. 

This was pointed out to him, with examples such as: Simply repeating “I shouldn’t blow up at subordinates” would not accomplish anything unless he understood why he got angry. 

This line of inquiry interested him, so we explored it further and made some eye-opening discoveries.

One in particular:  He often blew up at others because he was mad at himself for giving poor instructions or not explaining something sufficiently. So flying off the handle at the subordinate was much easier than accepting the blame himself.

Ah ha! Breakthrough: With his newly gained insight his “Don’t blow up” principle was revised just for him and morphed into: Don’t project your own shortcomings onto others.

Harsh-but-effective insight. He “got” it and was able to apply it. Gradually he formed a new habit. When someone did something wrong, he often still got mad. But he didn’t blame it entirely on the person. Instead he assigned some of the blame to himself, making statements such as, “I may not have explained it clearly enough.” 

TGIM Takeaway: Proverbial wisdom and time-tested principles are a good thing, and we owe a debt to those who conceive of and develop them. But they are, by their very nature, general and so have the potential to be ignored in practice.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Tailor such received wisdom to best suit you, your situation and – if you’re sharing it – your people. “Classic” principles and textbook guidance may be sound in theory, but to be effective in practice it must be personalized to suit individual personalities – your coworkers and your own. If you want to follow them – or want someone else to – dig deep into the personal aspects of your understanding to come up with a specific, workable approach.

“See you at the top.” Just in case you didn’t know, Zig said that encouragingly. And he used it as the title for his first book which, his publisher, Pelican Books, said was its most successful book, despite having been rejected by 30-odd publishers previously. 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. “You cannot tailor-make the situations in life but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations.” Oh, yeah. Zig said that, too.

Listening To Brubeck

Glad To Have Had Dave Brubeck In My Life

 

I last saw Dave Brubeck live at Bethel Woods (the site of "Woodstock") in 2007, obviously having at least as much fun playing as the audience was listening.

"Koto Song" Brubeck

When I first went to Nutley Jr. High and then High School there was a “Sweet Shoppe” on my path home from school with jukebox that featured the continually updating hits of the day – Maurice Williams & the Zodiacs, The Shirelles, Sam Cooke, the Everly and Isley Brothers, and eventually The Beatles.

As I recall the deal was: A dime a play, 3 for a quarter.

For two years of Jr. High and four years at NHS I “invested” my quarter playing Take Five and its flip side, Blue Rondo a la Turk.

And for all those years they never pulled the record to replace it with something newer.

'Take Five' Brubeck

I have no memory of what my ever-changing third choice was, but I do know Dave Brubeck shaped my music listening ear forever.

Sad to think his genius has ended.

Glad to have had him in my life.

Try him in the 21st Century, here: Listening to Dave Brubeck

Thank Goodness It's Monday #385

HOW TO NEGOTIATE

SO EVERYONE COMES OUT AHEAD

Yup, I’m back on that track. I'm inspired -- once again -- by all the hoo-hah coming out of the nation’s capital these days. And I’m pondering why these beltway folks –

Just don’t get it.

In the business world that I occupy a pretty good definition of “Effective Negotiation” would be: 

A process by which two or more parties

use a problem-solving approach

to build something better for all.

Obviously we’re not talking political parties here.

So let’s just review with our personal/professional circumstances in mind.

The concept of effective negotiation doesn’t mean you’re not going drive a hard bargain to get what you want. And it doesn’t mean you won’t be willing to take any concessions you’re offered. 

It does mean you go into the negotiation process intending to use effective – maybe even “tough” – techniques that should enable you to control the process and lead it toward the outcome you want. 

But you’ll do this in a principled way.

To guide us, here’s a rundown of --

8 Principles Of Effective Negotiation

#1: There’s a solution that can benefit everyone. That’s true in most cases. So it makes sense to go into a negotiation with a problem-solving mindset; looking for ways both sides can be better off. 

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Don’t operate in terms of you vs. an opponent. Think instead, “you and the other problem solver.” You might even disarm future conflict by announcing this point of view at the outset.

#2: Anything can be negotiated. (Alright, almost anything.) Just don’t accept the established order. Rules are made by people and people can change them.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Anything and everything can be up for grabs. A printed policy … price tag … instructions from higher ups … budgets … salaries … a sign on the wall – none of these are inviolable. They can all be changed by someone willing to invest the time and energy necessary to do it.

#3: Attention must be paid. To get anyone to sit still for a serious discussion, you must first get his or her attention. You do that by letting that person know you can help or hurt them in some way.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Since our emphasis here is on something better for everyone, emphasize how you can help. Then you will not only get attention, but – ideally – receptive, positive attention.

#4: Needs are seldom what they seem. What the other problem solver says he or she wants may not be what he or she really wants.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Is there any history with this kind of issue? People are fairly predictable. Think back on what your counterpart has said or done in the past. Most folks are likely to do the same tomorrow as they did yesterday. And don’t forget psychological needs such as ego and self-esteem.

#5: It’s best to remove the decision maker from the actual negotiation. That way you can always say, “Top Gun would never go for that” or, at least, “Let me get back to you after I’ve shared it with Top Gun.” And, because Top Gun is not there, no one can work on changing his or her mind. 

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: On the other hand: You don’t want to negotiate with a second party. You want to engage with the person who can make the decision. Find out who that is beforehand and strive to deal directly. Conversely, if you’re the decision maker, resist this maneuver. Have someone represent you.

#6: Have plenty up your sleeves. If you have only one option, then you are apt to want it too badly … care too much … and be willing to give away too much to get it.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Set high goals. Assume you’ll be successful. But don’t count on it. Go into any negotiation with more than one option. If you must “know one thing” know the minimum you believe is acceptable.

#7: Wave your big stick. The amount of clout your counterpart thinks you have can greatly influence the outcome of a negotiation. Clout comes not only from your position in the organization you represent but also from other sources. 

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Make clear you have the background and experience to be considered expert. If you doubt your clout, you can establish it (real or imagined) by showing that: Others like your ideas and are on your side… established policy, traditions and culture support you… fairness dictates that you are right.

#8: Put time on your side. Keep it there. Think and prepare for “the long haul” from the start.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Agreements tend to be reached when someone is running out of time. The more time you can get the other party to invest in the discussion, the more he or she will want to get to an agreement.

And speaking of time ... 

Wow! Look at the time. Shall we negotiate an end to this TGIM? 

Here’s the wrap up. Many factors affect the course and outcome of negotiations, of course. Recognizing them and preparing in advance are key to influencing the situation to suit  and reach your desired outcome. 

Competitive negotiators attempt to get their way by being aggressive. They convey anger, resolution, and a feeling of tension. While this may intimidate their counterparts into agreement, more often it will alienate and antagonize the opposition and make negotiations difficult, if not impossible.

Cooperative negotiators seek common ground and fair solutions. They attempt to reach agreement through trust, openness, and reciprocation. This principled style is more apt to result in effective negotiations with effective outcomes, particularly if the other side is also cooperative.

And, amazingly, everyone comes out ahead.

Come, let us reason together. Now if only our legislators would understand that.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. “Start out with an ideal and end up with a deal.” Karl Hans Albrecht said that. Who? Albrecht is the richest person in Germany; an entrepreneur who founded the discount supermarket chain Aldi with his brother Theo. He ranked 10th on the Forbes 2012 list of billionaires.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #384

THE 30-DAY COUNTDOWN

IS UNDERWAY

  

My old-school paper pocket planner has that feature that shows the number of days past/days remaining in the calendar year for each date. And, according to it, we’ve got 35 days left to accomplish all those items we detailed in our New Year’s Eve 2011 list of resolutions for 2012.

 

So let me ask –

How are you doing? Have you made major headway on making all those lofty 2012 goals a reality?

I’m going to be right out there and confess that, at this point in the fourth quarter of 2012, I am not eleven-twelfths of the way through all the things on my made-last-December/January list. 

Not even close. 

Sure, I’ve knocked off items. But not nearly all of them. 

And, I can see clearly now that there’s not a chance I’m going to wrap up but one or two of the biggest ones that remain in the 35-days-including-weekends-and-holidays ahead.

And now I’m going to tell you what I’d wager you’ll hear from no other self-improvement blog/chat/whatever:

That’s great news! Depending on the time of day you’re reading this, between now and the beginning of 2013, you have roughly 840 hours to devote to determining how you will memorialize 2012 and how you lay the groundwork that determines how 2013 will evolve.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Begin now to chart your course to the eventful days ahead with a positive mental attitude. Don’t be overly concerned with what didn’t or won’t get accomplished.  Remember what transpired thus far this year – good, bad, and stops between -- as part of a worthwhile, formative, learning process. 

No SuperStorm Sandy excuses. No “Back in February there was that family thing …” Or, “Well, last summer I couldn’t …” Or, “With all the pre-election run up clients just wouldn’t commit …” Or …

Or … OR… OR….

That’s all behind us now.

Don’t look back. Don’t mope and fret the days away in this 30-day countdown period.

 

Let the successes of the 331 days gone by guide your thinking, planning and actions. Instead of allowing your current 2012 Goal Achievement shortfall to distract and discourage you between now and calendar year end, fire up the positive self talk.

Sure the looming year-end is significant. But the year’s end is also an artificial thing. There’s no particular magic in 365 days divided into the common, civilly accepted 12 Gregorian months. 

Query: If, in the Latin that’s at the root of so much of our language, “septimus” indicates 7th and “octo” means 8, “novem” 9 and “decem” 10, why are the months of the final stretch of the year linked to those designations – September, through December – the 9^th through 12^th months of the year?

Answer: Their number rank IS right in the “old” Roman calendar of 304 days spread over 10 months (the Calendar of Romulus), which began with the Spring equinox in Martius, (now March) named for Mars, the god of war. 

And that’s exactly the point.

A countdown to some deadline can BEGIN at any time.

And END at any time. 

December 31, 2012 can be a significant deadline only if you want it or allow it to be. 

Even the IRS allows calendar-year taxpayers to make decisions and take actions that impact a taxpaying year after the days of that year have become history. 

TGIM Challenge: Why should you be more demanding on yourself for most things?

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Don’t feel pressured to make this 30-day countdown period any more significant than it needs to be. Set goals for the future, sure. But live and do your work in the present.

You have roughly 840 hours left in 2012. 

• Does that seem like too little?
• Or a lot?

Don’t be driven to distraction and wrong action by a self-imposed need to get done by a date certain some idea that seemed sensible nearly eleven months in the past but deserves a different priority now.

Only one thing is for sure: The moment you’re certain things won’t change, they will. Because things always change. 

Just thinking about change changes things. And so, having thought about it, maybe you now realize how the year-end goals that you set nearly a year ago may have revised, reformed, and evolved so that, perhaps, they are not so great a priority now. 

Your job right now is to get on with what matters most right now. 

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that you lose track of what’s behind you. You do not have permission to quit trying just because the road turned out to be longer, harder, steeper than you initially expected. 

Good goals remain good goals. And --

Goals not accomplished by a deadline matter. But deadlines can often be adjusted. As a student of self improvement you know there will be setbacks as well as successes and that you can best prepare for each by a process of continuous learning. 

The thing you absolutely don’t want to do is let delayed or postponed or dropped goals from months ago discourage you from the very vital and worthwhile process of having forward-looking goals today and plotting a path to accomplishing them.

So, in the time you have remaining to you in 2012 – 1,512,000 seconds, give or take – what are you going to do? 

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: I’m looking forward to taking some part of that time to plot out my short- and longer-term business, financial, personal, health and spiritual goals for the month and fitting them to my plans for the years (yes, years – plural) ahead. And I’ll give some time each and every day to evaluate and revise how I’m moving forward on making those goals a reality.

There. Got this TGIM done in time to get it to you today. Accomplished that.

Now on to meeting other deadlines.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

 

P.S.  “Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” Hal Borland (1900 - 1978) said that. He was an American novelist and journalist who called much of his non-fiction newspaper work “outdoor editorials.”