Thank Goodness It's Monday #454

WHAT’S WRITTEN ON YOUR HEART?

 

It’s been a lot of Mondays (454 divided by 52 = a bit short of a decade) since these weekly messages began their routine appearance as part of a multi-platform program created with my buddy Eric Taylor and The EmpowermentGroup.

Our first connection had been at a public event perhaps a year or two prior.

After that we spent some time assessing each other, trying to figure out just what the connection was between an older, words-on-paper, pass-along business soft-skills, jacket & tie guy (that was me at the time) and, dare I say, a brash, young, great-on-the-platform, hyper-energized, fit and trim people-motivator like Eric (often decked out in preferred-at-the-time Tony Robbins look).

To cut to the chase: In those ancient days of business “courting” we discovered much in common and that our complementary talents played nicely and well together. A mutual acquaintance noted once we were like Lennon and McCartney, which I always took as a compliment (although I’ve never been sure who’s who in that equation).

The grandest production of those days became, as I have suggested above, a multi-media program conceived as and modestly tagged, How to Have Your Best Year Ever. 

The BYE elements consisted of ballroom-filling half-day presentations, CDs and DVDs, ring binders filled with stuff from all the productions and more, e-delivery of content (before the idea of an “e-book” had seriously entered the equation), and weekly outreach, free of charge and low on promo, to anyone who would have us in their e-mail box.

 

Fast forward to 2014: The world has spun on its axis and made its circuit around the sun many, many times since TGIM #1. The road has been winding and sometimes challenging. Other paths have crossed ours and we’ve investigated them in our own way. And through it all –

 

The journey has been interesting, enlightening, rewarding. We’ve met good and stimulating people who challenged us. And, I like to believe, on all sides of those “meetings” we’ve all come away better for the experience.

 

So that gets us to today’s TGIM headline.

It’s a reference to a source, mentor, guru – you pick the description -- and a touch point that Eric and I, as Best Year Ever kind of guys, found we had in common in the early going.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

It’s been my custom in over two score-and-then-some years of writing for a business audience to pepper my editorial input with what I deem worthwhile and actionable quotations from noteworthy individuals. When I did this in an early exchange with Eric, his response (as I recall it) was the equivalent of –

 

“I love Ralph Waldo Emerson!”

 

OK, maybe not literally that. But close enough to win me over inasmuch as I, too, “love” the eminently sensible and quotable RWE.

I have little doubt this moment was influential in cementing our “You know, I think I can work with this guy” decision and has informed our relationship in the years since.

 

So … In its way this TGIM #454 post brings things full circle.

Visually it’s from the Volume of Contentment we’ve been sharing much of this month.

 

TGIM Takeaway: Thoughtfully, philosophical and realistically it’s precisely the kind of “How to have your Best Year Ever” guidance guys who “love Ralph Waldo Emerson” can heartily endorse:

 

 

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Write it on your heart this Monday.

 

And Tuesday … 

 

And Wednesday …

 

And …

Every Day of this, Your Best Year Ever.    

 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

 

P.S.  "I am going into an unknown future, but I'm still all here, and still while there's life, there's hope." John Lennon (October 9, 1940- December 8, 1980) said that, prophetically in December of 1980.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #453

TODAY IS YOUR DAY

AND MINE

David Starr Jordan (1851-1931), credited among such notables as Ruskin, Goethe and Emerson in our Volume of Contentment, was a new name to me. 

But as I’ve learned –

The oversight is mine. Impressive-to-me biographical material about him abounds online. 

The in-a-nutshell synopsis goes like this: David Starr Jordan was a leading ichthyologist, educator, peace activist, president of Indiana University, and was handpicked by Leland Stanford to become the founding president of Stanford University.

There’s more, of course. Much more. You can check it out in all its diversity, too. But before you click away, let’s look at our page:

Why this selection now?

One reason: Because it strikes a particularly personal chord in me.

The words run parallel to an approach to life that was passed along by my mother who died a decade or so ago. And while it’s likely no one would have asked her to start up their namesake university she, in striving to “play her part” as the Volume of Contentment frames Jordan’s creed, was pretty effective at living her days from her perspective as well.

So I’d like to take this opportunity to also share this Betty Steck (1921-2004) Daily Discipline with you.

She left a typewritten copy of the following words with her important family documents. While they are not original to her, she called them “The creed by which I try to live” and noted, “You will find these words over my kitchen sink where I read them at the beginning of each day.”

See the similarities in these approaches to the day and, more broadly, to life? 

Go ahead, call me a Momma’s Boy. I trust I’m not, of course, in the derisive sense of that phrase. But I do try to adhere to the mindset she meant to pass along.

The image above is the postcard-sized reproduction I had made of Betty’s kitchen-sink post up and distributed at her memorial service. This one hangs over my computer screen, thus the fuzzy photo and the hint of yellow wallpaper border. 

Another is on my dresser where the content of my pockets goes every evening and where it’s gathered at the start of each day. So there’s barely a day when I don’t bump hard into a tangible reminder of what I hope I have adapted as a lifelong behavior.

TGIM CHALLENGE: Got a “creed” by which you try to live? 

I’m sure you do. So how about this –

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Share it. For starters, post it up on social media with a little bit of explanation if necessary. Let us know – via “friend” request if Eric and I are not already connected with you on Facebook or LinkedIn or whatever -- so we can see and share in it if it’s not likely we’d catch a glimpse of it in passing.

Now is the time.

Go play your part.

Seize your unique day.

I’ve already started with mine. 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S.  I’ve got a small bundle of “Today is mine” postcards left and I’d be honored to share them (supply permitting) with anyone who reaches out and tells me a physical address to which to snail mail it. Just put “Today is mine” in your subject line or on an envelope containing something with your postal address and send the info to me at either of the AP&M addresses above. That will start things rolling.  

Thank Goodness It's Monday #452

AN ALMOST-IRISH “BLESSING”

FOR ST. PATRICK’S DAY

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) isn’t the most “Irish” name to invoke as the official day of St. Paddy pride and celebration rolls around.

Still, as every at-least-once-a-year connector to the old sod – from President O’Bama to me – knows:

Today’s the day when everyone’s allowed the honor of being Irish.

So as TGIM continues to share the wisdom and inspiration from A Volume of Contentment from 1920, it seemed fitting to pick a page with a message particularly appropriate to the St. Paddy’s Day as well as the Thank Goodness It’s Monday spirit.

What better then than a thought about “blessings” and “being blessed” in life?

A blessing can be defined as the infusion of something with a kind of holiness or spiritual redemption. It can also refer to the bestowing of such a, well, blessing. Stated more prosaically, the idea of giving or receiving a blessing is about sharing and conveying one's hope or approval.

Wikipedia tells us: The modern English language “bless” probably comes from the Middle Ages term blessen.  Earlier still, language experts say, it all traces back to variations in the Anglo-Saxon pagan period meaning “to make sacred or holy by a sacrificial custom.” And those origins are rooted in Germanic paganism; a word meaning “to mark with blood.” 

A St. Pat’s connection: The modern meaning of the term may have been influenced in translations of the Bible into Old English during the process of Christianization to translate the Latin term benedīcere meaning to “speak well of,” resulting in meanings such as to “praise” or “extol” or “to speak of or to wish well.

Wearin’ o the green. What makes a blessing “Irish” then is not necessarily much more than the nationality of the blesser/blessed or, perhaps, being delivered/received on St. Patrick’s Day, the date itself giving the blessing Irish Power.

And with Germanic origins for the idea of blessing, Goethe’s got enough bonus cred to make the “Irish Blessing” cut today.

 

 

Honorary Irishman or not, Goethe led –

A blessed life. He was the originator of many ideas which later became widespread. Certainly, by his standard, he thought himself blessed -- liking many, many things and doing them so well his activities, accomplishments and legacy across many disciplines are acknowledged and endure worldwide.

• He was a politician, nobleman, and military tactician.
• As a scientific thinker he shared a theory of colors and early work on evolution and linguistics.
• He was fascinated by mineralogy, and the mineral goethite (iron oxide) is named after him.
• He produced volumes of poetry, essays, criticism and drama.
• Writing fiction he produced what is considered by many the world’s first “bestseller (The Sorrows of Young Werther) as well as poetry and drama.
• His non-fiction writings, most of which are philosophical and aphoristic in nature, spurred the development of many seeking greater truth and insight.

Clearly Goethe’s sense of inquiry, wonder and enthusiasm for many of the things he both “had to do” and “liked to do” filled his days and life with pleasure and sped him on to his many accomplishments.

So, with our Goethe excerpt in mind, here’s an evergreen TGIM --
 

ST. PATRICK'S DAY CHALLENGE: When I look at my daily or weekly “To Do” list, do I like what I have to do? When I step back and look at the big picture of my life, am I doing what I like to do?

On a day of celebration like St. Pat’s it may be easy to spot a bunch of fun things that qualify as “like to do.” But every part of every day can’t be green beer (or green bagels; what’s up with that?) shamrocks, and jolly greetings. 

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Follow Goethe’s personal example and quotable wisdom to make yourself worthy and ready for the blessings you give and get today. Stretch yourself to find the things you really like to do. Then do them. Build your skills until accomplishing even the most difficult parts of what you do are pleasantly challenging and “likeable.” 

Then perhaps you’ll reap the substance of the classic (and authentic) Irish Blessing:

Go n-eírí an bóthar leat.

May the road rise with you.

Hope you’re liking what we’re doing and sharing here.

I’m liking doing it.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S.  Click, cut, copy, share this version of Goethe’s ideal of a blessed life if it appeals to you. And let us know what you think of it, either way.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #451

WISDOM FOR SHARING FROM

“A VOLUME OF CONTENTMENT”

In 1920 the Dodge Publishing Co., headquartered at 53-55 Fifth Avenue, New York published a compilation of wisdom gathered from noted authors.

Founded in San Francisco 1895 as Dodge Book and Stationary Co. it moved to New York in 1898 and thrived for a brief time as a calendar and gift book publisher. 

This tidy little volume -- entitled A Volume of Contentment -- acknowledges that its origins were in the company’s Calendar of Contentment. 

How that calendar was presented, we don’t know.

Here however each selection stands alone on its page, laid out, decorated and rendered in art-nouveau-trending-to-art deco style and unique calligraphic type.

 

The contented content? Words of thoughtfulness, wisdom, insight, and understanding sourced from thinkers we still hold in high esteem today.

 

One thing that particularly strikes me in our 21^st Century digitally connected world of the now-disappeared Dodge Publishing’s future, is just how much this ink-on-paper assemblage resembles in spirit, intent and presentation the kind of stuff folks of a certain mindset – many TGIM readers, for example – share by e-means in outreach like this and via social media.

So …

Let’s give it a try. From this Monday to the end of the end of March TGIM will pull a page from A Volume of Contentment into our world.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: The opening shot seems particularly on point for a winter-weary-creeping-toward-the-promise-of-Spring Monday.

I hope it’s uplifting after a lose-an-hour, turn-the-clocks-forward weekend. And it’s source is prolific writer, draughtsman, watercolorist, social thinker, philanthropist and art critic who would, no doubt, have something to say about this representation of his words and ideas, John Ruskin (1819-1900).

 

  

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Click, cut, copy, share if it appeals to you. And let us know what you think of it, either way.

 

Looking forward.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

Thank Goodness It's Monday #450

 

HOW TO MAKE CRITICISM

MORE CONSTRUCTIVE

Understand this from the start: This TGIM message IS NOT about doling out criticism in a constructive way.

It IS about being on the receiving end of critical information.

So, although I’ll be doing some doling, if you’re not open to getting a little guidance about getting a little guidance, well …

 

I’m not quite sure what to tell you. Obviously, I’d suggest you read on.

 

No doubt there are a number of folks out there all too ready to inform you with their biased view about what they think you should be doing about fill-in-the-blank.

 

And yeah, more than a few of them are jerks.

But I don’t mean for that to be the case here. I merely want to share a framework I’ve found useful for getting the best from situations where we’re getting input that’s well intended and meant to be helpful.

So if you’re prepared to continue, let’s.

TGIM CHALLENGE: Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of negative feedback. (That’s what criticism is, isn’t it?) But sometimes you just have to hear it. And in those cases, it’s probably wise to try to manage yourself in a way that allows you to use the situation to your advantage.

 

Let’s set up a hypothetical to which we can all probably relate.

 

It’s performance review time. And after some warm-up remarks from your reviewer – presumably your boss – some of that negative stuff begins to be aired.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Fight the knee-jerk urge to return fire with fire. Take the high road by not making it confrontational at this point. Decide that you will sit back and take it in.

Here’s why: In such situations your best first defense against criticism is likely to be no defense at all. Especially if what you’re hearing is surprising.

Clearly you’re not, and can’t be, in control when it’s apparent that the boss has a solidly established mindset … and talking points … and, perhaps, something more in mind.  When criticism feels like “news” to you, you do not have any advantage.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Don’t attempt to battle back from a disadvantaged position. Save your defense – your explanation, clarification, justification, even your legitimate outrage – for later when you have an understanding of the full context of the critical evaluation and when it might do you some good.

If the process is at all fair you’ll get a chance to respond; you’ll even be expected and invited to.

Button your lip until then.

And as you maintain your composure –

 

Appear to listen.

Even better: Actually listen.

 

And when you hear what you hear, and you sense there’s some signal that you’re expected to participate and respond –

Do it.

But do it wisely.

 

Eventually you want any exchange of views to be on neutral ground. So your primary reaction at this critical early juncture should be a straightforward validation of that you’re hearing the “wisdom” that’s being shared. So --

Say just that. “I hear you” is certainly a factual statement that does not in any way erode your ability to put forward counter arguments when it’s the right time for you to make your case. 

Granted, coldly delivered those three words alone may convey a bit of antagonism on your part. So you might try to warm or sweeten the tone by modifying the phrasing of your rejoinder to something such as “I think I get where you’re coming from” or “I believe I understand what you’re saying.”

And if you have a sense that there is a compelling underlying argument in the criticism you’re hearing, this might be a good time to lay some groundwork for your defense -- without yet launching into it. 

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Try expanding your validating responses by sharing your newly achieved insight.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Responding with “I see what you mean; I do get long-winded and caught up in the weeds” (Did I really just say that?) is a validating response that wins you points. 

 

Why? Because it’s hard for your critical reviewer to stay irritated when you’ve let them know you heard what was said and know what was meant (although, you’ll note, you did not concede it’s a fatal flaw).

“OK,” you say. “In my best ‘validating’ mode I’ll allow that this is fine as far as it goes. But it does not address that –

• The criticism may not be valid, and
• Even if it is (valid), it’s going to make me feel bad and defensive, and
• I want to have my say!”

Of course none of this is easy to take. But at this stage the most productive mindset is probably to tell yourself that criticism is a sign that you have potential and that your critics are well intended.

In the scheme of things, the more you matter, the more the mentors who care about your success will try to polish your assets and file away your rough edges. So, especially if your critical review comes with input about what must happen next –

 

Give it time to soak in. As keen as we all might be to jump to our own defense and share our self-justifying point of view, the immediate response should probably be limited to acknowledging that reality. 

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: In the instant when you’re expected to react aloud, keep your own counsel. Buy yourself time to calm everything down, clear the air and make well-considered decisions, comments and commitments. Maybe do it like this:

“Well, this has been a bit surprising and certainly informs my thinking,” you might concede when the review has run its course and it’s you who now must say something.

“You’ve given me a lot to consider and it’s important to me, as it is to you, that I take it to heart and determine just how I can use your feedback most productively. So I’d like to take a break and do that now. And then, can we review how we’ll go forward? Shall we set a mutually convenient follow-up in a day or two?”

 

Then keep your pledge. Go out and rage, sulk, seek other opinions, consider, contemplate, calculate and whatever else (within the law) feels right.

As you go through your process, try to maintain or regain some objectivity and then evaluate and use the feedback productively by asking yourself:

• What part of this criticism is true?
• Have I heard any or all of this before?
• What would I have to give up if I changed?

With the answers to these questions clearly in mind, return for your Round #2 and make your views and plans for the future known.

 

I know you’ll do the right thing.

 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

 

P.S.  “Criticism … makes very little dent upon me, unless I think there is some real justification and something should be done.” First Lady, diplomat and outspoken public servant and social activist Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) shared that in 1936.