“ARE YOU NUTS?”
THE ART OF ASKING QUESTIONS
Questions are key in getting to the point and then moving forward in almost any of life’s transactions.
Indeed, without questions there would be little give and take; few clues about how to move ahead in personal or professional exchanges – especially in dealings that require some level of negotiation.
It pretty much boils down to Q&A.
At their heart, most negotiations are really little more than a series of questions … discussions about questions … and, lastly, answers to questions. So …
The questions that are asked determine the course of the negotiations.
- Good questions can steer the course of the negotiations in the right direction.
- Poorly formulated or misdirected questions can do irreparable damage to your outcome.
And that’s --
Not as easy as it sounds. When you’re negotiating, you have to consider how the information each question is supposed to glean will advance your cause. You also have to think of the best way to formulate those questions to get an answers that are both meaningful and useful.
And sometimes it’s not very straightforward. Sometimes you must lead up to the question – and the answer/outcome – that you really want with a series of smaller, less-probing inquiries.
So, perhaps obviously, the timing of questions is also important.
Q: Is all this “question planning” really necessary?
A: It is when a negotiable outcome is at stake.
Antennas up! When they’re trying to strike a deal, people don’t like to answer questions they suspect may compromise the favorable aspects of their outcome. In such a situation your counterpart is particularly alert – as you are – to the idea that most questions have the goal of improving the asker’s position in the negotiation.
True, many questions concern matters of fact. And, in general, facts are not negotiable. But opinions based on them may well be. So, given the propensity to be defensive in negotiations, unless the facts requested are fairly harmless, a skilled negotiator is inclined to resist a direct answer.
► Other questions confirm facts. For example, you may wish to ask some technical questions – not strictly because you want the answers, but to test the opponent’s technical knowledge about the subject of the negotiation.
Likewise some negotiators ask questions to which they already know the answers just to confirm the honesty or veracity of the opponent.
► Of course there are some questions your counterparts may be glad to answer because it appears to build or support their position –
Or so they think. Such answers may reveal more than just the facts.
Case in point: Suppose you, as a skilled and disciplined asker of questions, can safely assume you have greater industry knowledge than the question answerer. Although the answerer expounds at length on how well-run their operation is because of all the great things they do, you may spot useful opportunities to compare what you need against what’s being offered.
► Questions can also be used to make proposals. Such “questions” begin with phrases such as “Would you consider …” or “Suppose we were to ….”
A proposal in this form usually requires some kind of answer before moving on, and that very often gets the opposition to start thinking in a more focused way.
Heads up: This is a good place to apply the idea of not taking “no” for an answer. If the response comes back essentially negative, you may want to rephrase the question and present it again before altering your position.
► Some negotiators use questions the way a fisherman casts a net in open waters. By doing this they expect to catch certain information, but also anticipate an interesting and valuable mix in the haul. Example: “What do you think some of the problems are?”
Responding to such queries provides opponents with the opportunity to introduce their own opinions. And a great deal can be gleaned by listening to those opinions which, in turn, may raise some new, more pointed questions.
► Questions can also be hostile – perhaps intentionally.
Are you reading this TGIM in part because the headline asked –
“Are you nuts?”
Even if you’re a loyal reader and are inclined to check this out no matter what the headline, you’ll probably concede that the confrontational “Are you nuts?” focused your attention. Questions such as this are sometimes used by skilled negotiators to move things off dead center.
But watch this: Play the Hostile Q card, or the provocative, indignant one (“What the…. do you mean by that?”) with care.
Tone of voice and spirited language can, even mistakenly, seem to introduce a personal element into the mix. And when things “get personal,” questions rarely get a very good response. Worse, they may serve to spread parties further apart and lengthen the entire process. So unless you’re actually looking for a fight, keep such challenges forthright and friendly in tone.
►Finally, some questions are designed to close a discussion or negotiating session altogether.
Typical closing questions: “So you think we’ve got a deal here?”… “Ready to sign on the dotted line?”… “Haven’t you got everything you’ve been asking for?” Or “Aren’t you about ready to wrap it up?”
One caution here: Asking a closing question, especially of the “wrap up” type, too early can signal that you are the one in a hurry to settle and so the other person may simply decide to let you make all the remaining concessions.
Of course, such questions can also be a smooth segue into closing an August–in-NJ TGIM –
“Don’t you think?”
Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing
8 Depot Square
Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
201-569-5373
P.S. “Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.” That cautionary quote about using questions effectively is attributed to President Ronald Reagan (1911 – 2004) prior to a press conference.
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