Thank Goodness It's Monday #442

RESOLUTIONS ALONE ARE BUPKIS

(OH, AND WELCOME TO 2014)

“Bupkis” – if, by chance, you’re not familiar with the word – is a dictionary-accepted English language word more often spoken than written.


The etymology of "bupkis"

 -- if you care to delve deeper --

finds the origins in a Yiddish phrase

concerning goat droppings.

It’s defined as “absolutely nothing; nothing of value, significance, or substance.” 

It’s use in today’s TGIM headline is to both attract your attention and to emphasize an important idea that, I hope, will help us all better keep our newly made resolutions and achieve our 2014 goals as we perceive them in these early days of the year.

So let’s get started: Six-and-a-bit days ago on New Year’s Eve a fellow celebrator said to me –

“This year I’m not making resolutions,

but finding solutions.”

Hmmm. Interesting idea. And on reflection, I agree.

Now exactly what the shorthand “solutions/no resolutions” means for him was not revealed in our passing exchange.

But we can figure out the spirit of it.

For starters, the firmly and soberly resolved “In 2014 I’m going to …

·         Lose weight

·         Learn a new language

·         Add a customer each week

·         Get that in-ground pool

·         Have a weekly date night with my significant other

·         Coach my kids’ teams to a championship season

… is just lip service until you’ve assessed the situation, assessed your level of commitment and, with that insight, sorted out just how you will make it so.

TGIM Takeaway: As my New-Year’s-Eve reveling friend suggests, it’s the solution-creating process we devise and act on that will have the most impact on our goal-achievement outcome.

Perhaps just declaring New Year’s resolutions and goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term. But when they are only stand-alone expressions of intent, the outcome’s bound to be discouraging and disappointing. 

Take that weight loss resolution. It’s #1, year-in, year-out. 

And 2014’s no different. Once again millions of folks will resolve and fret and place unnecessary stress on themselves to lose weight. 

But in our instant-gratification world, stating a goal carries some expectation that the sincere intention alone will bring results.

Of course, some may have success in the short term. 

But most will soon be setting their year-end resolve by the roadside and, in 359 days, will regretfully be making their #1 resolution their #1 resolution one more time. 

TGIM ACTION IDEA: In 2014 -- rather than fretting about big, life-changing goals -- we can keep things simple and reduce stress by focusing on the daily process and sticking to a well-thought-out schedule plotted with an honest assessment of our ability and commitment to sticking to it.

Here’s proof: Take away a stated lofty goal, while leaving in place the commitment to the process or system you envision, and what happens?

Yup. You’d still get results. Maybe even great results.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand and endorse the travel-planning metaphor that usually accompanies goal-setting discussions:

You can’t even begin to think about making a trip

until you have a destination.

Goals – like final destinations -- are for planning. And eventually a well-designed system will be the prime mover in accomplishing what you desire most fervently. 

The point is: By focusing on the practice and step-by-step performance instead of the big end result, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time. It’s in the assessment and forecasting and development and scheduling and preparing and setting up and execution and adapting to change that we make progress.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Correctly assessing your ability and commitment is the starting point. Having a system and routinely reviewing, evaluating, tweaking and finely honing that is what matters in the long run. Then committing to that process is what makes the difference.

Although we can agree you, too, are awesome --
please dig deeper than Garfield does in this 2013 year-end Jim Davis strip.

So are you buying this argument?

Are you ready for some solution-finding input?

Here’s some perhaps-fresh insight:

1. Individuals change best when the motivation comes from within rather from the outside. For example, perhaps you think, “There’s not much I can do about my career until my boss shapes up and does something.” Or you might say, “Things would be different for me if only my spouse were to behave differently.”

In these cases you are relying on an external force to make change happen. But any mentor worth his or her salt is quick to point out, “Nothing will change until you change.” The truth is, you are 100% responsible for you! Any questions?

2014 ACTION IDEA: Take responsibility. Rely on yourself. Set your own priorities. Change occurs more effectively when you say, in essence, “Things must be changed and I am the one who must initiate the change. I must, in fact, change myself first.  There are things only I can do which will have the desired payoff for me.” Motivate yourself by getting excited about your goal quest.

2. Individuals change best when their objectives are specific. Maybe this is stating the obvious but let’s be clear: We do more when we have a purposeful direction. Once we have a specific goal, we see change occurring more readily. 

Why? Because specific objectives permit us to seek specific feedback on how we’re doing. General objectives such as “I want to get ahead” or “I want to be somebody” keep you from knowing whether you’re succeeding or failing because they set no goal criterion.

2014 ACTION IDEA: Putting performance measurements, time limits, real milestones and actual rewards in each goal makes it specific and easier to determine whether it’s being achieved or not. And knowing that a desired change is taking place can feed your personal satisfaction.

3. Individuals change best when there is personal commitment. “Oh, I’m committed to making the changes necessary to reach my goals” you tell yourself. 

But face it: It’s more difficult to change in a vacuum. It helps to have feedback.

2014 ACTION IDEA: Tell others. Share your hopes, your dreams and your goals. Other people will be glad to give you feedback, support and ideas. And the more specific you are in detailing your aspirations, the more specific and informative that feedback can be. And by making the commitment “public,” you become more emotionally involved and that also helps you stick to it.

4. Individuals change best when changes are timely and gradual. While the idea that revolutionary change comes dramatically in a flash of brilliance is appealing, life seldom happens like that.

Change takes time. Individual change takes patience and time. Achieving the kind of 2014 goals I hope you’re setting these days won’t be finished tomorrow. (If it is I’d like to hear about it.)

2014 ACTION IDEA: Be patient. Most changes require a series of events to occur in some evolving way. Granted, we can help some or all of those events to occur, but even then the magnitude and complexity of great goals demand shifts in attitude, values, policies and procedures – and that takes time and careful planning.

 

There’s more … much more. Obviously. Whole books been written, entire careers have been build upon goal-setting and outcome-achieving strategies. 

But that’s plenty enough for right now. My short-term TGIM goal for today was to put in your hands some proven-in-action solutions you might implement immediately to keep your 2014 Resolution/Goals process on track. 

Hope you found them, at least, worthy of consideration

 

– NOT bupkis. 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373

tgimguy@gmail.com

 

P.S.  “A good system shortens the road to the goal” That old-timey publisher of motivational and inspirational wisdom in his Success magazine, Orison Swett Marden (1850-1924) propounded that bit of rousing opinion.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #438

UNTANGLING THE “NOTS”

THAT KEEP US FROM OUR GOALS

 

It’s that time of the year – again. Seems every December we remember to dig out our “resolutions” made nearly 12 months ago and evaluate our success. 

 

Ooops. Got some shortfalls there?

Me, too. But that’s doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the year is the end of the world. 

• If you’ve been able to check off a significant portion of your 2013 list, kudos.
• If, however, it appears you can create your 2014 goals/resolutions list simply by changing the date atop 2013’s, we need to talk further.

All too often we erect mental barriers that weaken our goals and turn them into mere wishes. Or we make wishes, but never begin the deliberate process that transforms these ethereal dreams into reality.

 

The biggest mental barriers take the form of “nots” – negative attitudes that keep us from even trying.

Here are some of the toughest “nots” and some effective ways to slice right through them, starting with the biggest:

Not Enough Time

Suppose your company’s expanding its business in Germany and having a full blown command of German would be a great boon for you.  When you consider a goal like this, is your first thought, “I have no time to master another language”?  Or maybe you phrase it as a frantic, “I already have too much to do!”

Not having enough time is a universal complaint, especially if you’re juggling the trifecta of job, community and family responsibilities.

So what’s the goal-achieving solution to this “not”?

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Make time. 

This isn’t meant to be flippant. Sure, achieving a worthwhile goal takes time. But so does BS-ing … grousing about the difficult client, unreasonable boss or cantankerous coworker … churning through social media … playing Candy Crunch.  At home nothing takes as much time as watching TV.

Even if none of these apply to you, you can probably think of your own private time wasters. Any one of them is stealing time you need to work on significant goals instead, nicht wahr?

You’re not wasting a second, you say? Then maybe you do have too much to do. In that case –

Delegate.  Surely not every one of your time-consuming tasks is as important as certain big-deal goals you’d like to achieve. Delegate the less important jobs. Do it at the office. Do it at home. Do it in your community, verstehen Sie?

Another way to find time for your big, significant goal is to make it the first priority of every day – not let it bump along until you can squeeze it in. Treat goals like afterthoughts and they’ll remain inconsequential.

 

Not The Right Goal 

Sometimes we direct our efforts in the wrong direction.

• If you want to be the head of your own operation next year, starting from your current position as one of many in the sales force, your goal is probably too big.
• If you’re spending hours and hours fretting over and re-designing your new business card, your “goal” is probably too small.

And if you’re not sure whether your goals are too big or too small –

Check this: Do you change goals frequently before completing them? Then they may not be the right goals at all.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: The way to untangle this “not” is with a deliberate thought.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION #1: Reflect on past goals to discover why you abandon them. What happened that made you switch goals?

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION #2: Now choose your next goal carefully. Is it significant? Doable? Can you accomplish it within a set period of time? Does it make sense in terms of your current responsibilities? Then press on.

Not Enough Courage

What often prevents many of us from even attempting to meet our goals is plain old fear.

Of course we seldom come out and say aloud, “I’m too afraid to try this.” 

 

Instead we say, “I’m too old,” “I’m too young,” “I don’t have enough education,” “I’m comfortable with how things are now.”

No doubt it’s true: There ARE many things to be afraid of. “What if I fail?” “What if I succeed?” “Won’t things be different after I try?” Fair considerations all.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Acknowledging fear is often the best first step in overcoming it. It also helps to realize that most other people have the same fears too – even those who go on to succeed.

So clearly, just having the fear doesn’t mean failure –

But not doing anything does. 

So, in addition to courageously acknowledging your fear factor, another way to work through the “notty” situation is to construct a worst-case scenario – 

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Ask and objectively answer the question: “What’s the worst that thing that could happen if I try?”

Case in point: Suppose you’re convinced the company would benefit by having a Chief Technology Officer (a post you believe you’re qualified to fill). Imagine then you pitch the idea to the top brass and your idea’s turned down flat or, after due consideration, someone new is brought in to fill the position. 

Now what? You still have your job. Plus your reasonable, even profitable, suggestion shows you’re company-minded and ambitious. Pretty good accomplishments for “failure.”

Not Enough Willpower 

“I know all about goals,” you may say. “There was a time I started to create a whole new system for the company. And the time I started to teach myself C++.  And the time I started the MBA course so I can better handle executive level responsibilities. I just never finish anything.”

That certainly resonates.  Good intentions often crumble when you’re faced with the actual work. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy or not capable. You simply need a few concrete tools to help see a job through from start to finish.

These tools are useful for everyone—no matter what your specific goal-completion problem.

1. Set realistic deadlines.  Set a deadline for the goal itself. Also set deadlines to mark each step or series of steps. Meeting these interim deadlines provides you with tangible proof of your progress. They’re also good points to reward yourself for ongoing work.

2. Tell your mentor about your goal. If you don’t have a mentor, tell a friend or trusted co-worker. You’ll be less likely to “let yourself off the hook” if someone is watching what you do. Just be certain you don’t tell someone who will blab to everyone or in some way disparage your efforts.

3. Use a written plan.  It’s been said ad nauseam that the key difference between a wish and a goal is that a goal is written down. A goal somehow becomes more serious when it’s in writing and reflects a deeper commitment on your part. A written plan will also help you break the goal down into its separate, more easily achievable steps.

4. Visualize success. Imagination can help you succeed.  Studies of athletes show that visualizing playing and winning a game can increase performance as much as actual practice. Imagine, in detail, the job complete, the project in full running order. Imagine enjoying the results – as well as all the recognition and respect you’ll get.

Which “not” has you tangled up?  Use the above strategies to start working on your 2014 goals today.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373

tgimguy@gmail.com 

 

P.S. “Perfection of means and confusion of goals seem – in my opinion – to characterize our age. If we desire sincerely and passionately the safety, the welfare, and the free development of the talents of all men, we shall not be in want to the means to approach such a state. Even if only a small part of mankind strives for such goals, their superiority will prove itself in the long run.” The brilliant goal-achiever Albert Einstein (1879-1955) shared that thought on the moral obligation of a scientist with his peers in 1941.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #384

THE 30-DAY COUNTDOWN

IS UNDERWAY

  

My old-school paper pocket planner has that feature that shows the number of days past/days remaining in the calendar year for each date. And, according to it, we’ve got 35 days left to accomplish all those items we detailed in our New Year’s Eve 2011 list of resolutions for 2012.

 

So let me ask –

How are you doing? Have you made major headway on making all those lofty 2012 goals a reality?

I’m going to be right out there and confess that, at this point in the fourth quarter of 2012, I am not eleven-twelfths of the way through all the things on my made-last-December/January list. 

Not even close. 

Sure, I’ve knocked off items. But not nearly all of them. 

And, I can see clearly now that there’s not a chance I’m going to wrap up but one or two of the biggest ones that remain in the 35-days-including-weekends-and-holidays ahead.

And now I’m going to tell you what I’d wager you’ll hear from no other self-improvement blog/chat/whatever:

That’s great news! Depending on the time of day you’re reading this, between now and the beginning of 2013, you have roughly 840 hours to devote to determining how you will memorialize 2012 and how you lay the groundwork that determines how 2013 will evolve.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Begin now to chart your course to the eventful days ahead with a positive mental attitude. Don’t be overly concerned with what didn’t or won’t get accomplished.  Remember what transpired thus far this year – good, bad, and stops between -- as part of a worthwhile, formative, learning process. 

No SuperStorm Sandy excuses. No “Back in February there was that family thing …” Or, “Well, last summer I couldn’t …” Or, “With all the pre-election run up clients just wouldn’t commit …” Or …

Or … OR… OR….

That’s all behind us now.

Don’t look back. Don’t mope and fret the days away in this 30-day countdown period.

 

Let the successes of the 331 days gone by guide your thinking, planning and actions. Instead of allowing your current 2012 Goal Achievement shortfall to distract and discourage you between now and calendar year end, fire up the positive self talk.

Sure the looming year-end is significant. But the year’s end is also an artificial thing. There’s no particular magic in 365 days divided into the common, civilly accepted 12 Gregorian months. 

Query: If, in the Latin that’s at the root of so much of our language, “septimus” indicates 7th and “octo” means 8, “novem” 9 and “decem” 10, why are the months of the final stretch of the year linked to those designations – September, through December – the 9^th through 12^th months of the year?

Answer: Their number rank IS right in the “old” Roman calendar of 304 days spread over 10 months (the Calendar of Romulus), which began with the Spring equinox in Martius, (now March) named for Mars, the god of war. 

And that’s exactly the point.

A countdown to some deadline can BEGIN at any time.

And END at any time. 

December 31, 2012 can be a significant deadline only if you want it or allow it to be. 

Even the IRS allows calendar-year taxpayers to make decisions and take actions that impact a taxpaying year after the days of that year have become history. 

TGIM Challenge: Why should you be more demanding on yourself for most things?

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Don’t feel pressured to make this 30-day countdown period any more significant than it needs to be. Set goals for the future, sure. But live and do your work in the present.

You have roughly 840 hours left in 2012. 

• Does that seem like too little?
• Or a lot?

Don’t be driven to distraction and wrong action by a self-imposed need to get done by a date certain some idea that seemed sensible nearly eleven months in the past but deserves a different priority now.

Only one thing is for sure: The moment you’re certain things won’t change, they will. Because things always change. 

Just thinking about change changes things. And so, having thought about it, maybe you now realize how the year-end goals that you set nearly a year ago may have revised, reformed, and evolved so that, perhaps, they are not so great a priority now. 

Your job right now is to get on with what matters most right now. 

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that you lose track of what’s behind you. You do not have permission to quit trying just because the road turned out to be longer, harder, steeper than you initially expected. 

Good goals remain good goals. And --

Goals not accomplished by a deadline matter. But deadlines can often be adjusted. As a student of self improvement you know there will be setbacks as well as successes and that you can best prepare for each by a process of continuous learning. 

The thing you absolutely don’t want to do is let delayed or postponed or dropped goals from months ago discourage you from the very vital and worthwhile process of having forward-looking goals today and plotting a path to accomplishing them.

So, in the time you have remaining to you in 2012 – 1,512,000 seconds, give or take – what are you going to do? 

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: I’m looking forward to taking some part of that time to plot out my short- and longer-term business, financial, personal, health and spiritual goals for the month and fitting them to my plans for the years (yes, years – plural) ahead. And I’ll give some time each and every day to evaluate and revise how I’m moving forward on making those goals a reality.

There. Got this TGIM done in time to get it to you today. Accomplished that.

Now on to meeting other deadlines.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

 

P.S.  “Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.” Hal Borland (1900 - 1978) said that. He was an American novelist and journalist who called much of his non-fiction newspaper work “outdoor editorials.”