Thank Goodness It's Monday #422

HOW TO VANQUISH KLINGONS

AND ADVANCE THE ENTERPRISE

I’m not sure that I can distinguish Klingons from Romulans.


 

Klingon or Romulan?
Who's who?

So I was fairly surprised when, at a recent after-hours networking event, a buddy we’ll call Ensign Networker griped to me about being held captive by a Klingon.

 

While I was a Star Trek fan in the 1960s’ Shatner & Nimoy as Kirk & Spock days, I seldom express any particular ongoing enthusiasm for the continuing adventures.

But in the face of a challenge, I tried to dig deep in the Trekkie/Trekker nostalgia circuits of my head and be helpful.

 

“Shields up? Set phasers on full?” I suggested and got a WTF (“What The Fandom”) look in reply.

 

“Cling-On,” my should-have-been-wearing-a-red-jersey compatriot Ensign Networker clarified, enunciating each portion more clearly.

“You know the type. They back you into a corner. They smother you. They yakkity-yak your ears off."

 

Ah, yes. 

 

The Evil Cling-On. The arch enemy of the advancement of the networking enterprise. As if their empty chatter isn’t annoying enough, Cling-Ons prevent you from meeting anyone else.

And as Ensign Networker experienced, in trekking boldly in the universe of unknown opportunities, although you’re sending out mental mind waves for someone to come to your rescue, when you’re trapped by a Cling-On you probably face the fate of most red-shirted Ensigns on a mission:

 

You’re doomed. 

 

It’s likely the transporter beam can’t be activated to miraculously lift you out of your dire circumstances.

TGIM Captain’s Log: It doesn’t have to be this way. But before we reveal the Vulcan Mind Meld that can extricate you from Cling-On Capture or even a Romulan Runaround, let’s briefly consider a variety of networking opportunities and desired outcomes.

• If you belong to any of the strictly run, frequently meeting referral networks, Cling-Ons are barely a consideration. Protocol and rules and structure will keep you moving quickly on track. So no “Beam me up, Scottie” should be necessary.

 

• In the slightly more casual, and perhaps more loosely structured, Chamber or come-if-you-can-to-     morning-coffee meet ups or lunch-and-learn sessions, your make-new-contacts expectations should be tempered by the more social and learn-something aspects of the occasion. If you find yourself trapped and stranded, strive to make the most of the information-sharing opportunity realizing that you’re tight with most of the folks anyway and there will be future opportunities.

But in the vast and wide-open unexplored territory of afterhours networking occasions, keep foremost in mind the –

Prime Directive: Your mission is to meet more than one person. The objective is to make contact, gain some understanding and qualify other networkers. The goal is NOT to make a presentation or a sale on the spot.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: You get in. You connect and, fast and friendly, you try to get basic qualifying information. You respond according to what you hear. Maybe you swap contact info and suggest meeting in a more structured way. But you don’t even make the date now. You agree to do it on follow-up. Then you move on to the next person. 

All this takes a couple of minutes – tops – when the vibe is good.
Done in 30-seconds otherwise.

This was the gist of my on-the-spot Captainly Counsel to my befuddled buddy, the barely escaped from Cling-On capture Ensign Networker.

“But, but, but …” he prattled before he went on to reveal the thinking that was –

At the core of his problem: He didn’t want to seem rude to the person with whom he was speaking at the time.

Very nice. Also very foolish.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Honesty is the best policy in this version of networking, although it may require some tact and sensitivity. Just as you plan your making-a-connection strategy going in to such a situation, plan your Cling-On escape paths in advance.

For example:

 

A simple, “Wow! There’s so-and-so who I’ve been on the lookout for. Would you like to join me in meeting her?” is one very polite way to say “Our time is up.”

Of course that particular script runs the risk that the more obtuse Cling-On will not get the full message and instead will become a Tag-Along which is likely undesirable.

So, run the following mental movie a couple of times and master a version you’re comfortable with of the following monologue:

 

Before your eyes glaze over, at the slightest pause as your Cling-On rambles on, unleash an assertive I’m-in-control Vulcan Mind Meld grip as you initiate a parting handshake and say something such as:

“Hey … you’ve shared some useful information, but I’m sure you came here – as I did -- to meet as many people as possible. If we’re not careful we’re not going accomplish that and that would be a shame. So I’m going to head off now and do just that. Good luck to you.”

 

Elapsed time: 15 seconds.

Then step away. Be assertive. Be kind. Be not-too-subtle. Say no more. Don’t look back. 

One last point: From time to time we all should take a step back and try to see ourselves as others see us.

In big-forum networking opportunities do people you recognize as having met previously turn their backs as you approach?

As you engage them and start to chat, do they have to take a phone call or head for the bathroom?

Do they point in the other direction and say, “Oh my, did you see that?” and then disappear before you turn back?
 

Hey, it can happen:
Good Spock & Evil Spock

Most people are too nice to tell you to shut up. And, like Ensign Networker, they haven’t mastered a polite-ish getaway technique. So run a networking self-diagnostic from time to time and realize when you’ve possibly become “the enemy”.

And taking my own advice, now I’ll shut up.

“Live long -- network well -- and prosper.”   

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

 

P.S. “Destroying an Empire to win a war is no victory. And ending a battle to save an Empire is no defeat.” This axiom is cited by the Klingon character Kahless in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, episode, "Way of the Warrior." Apply it to unwinnable networking situations and it might be concluded that walking away would also be the Klingon way to escape Cling-Ons.