Thank Goodness It's Monday #327

WHAT IF THERE ARE NO UNIVERSAL RULES?

So I’ve been getting a little flack lately about the “Rules” we’ve been sharing here.

Not grievous, harmful, stop-me-dead-in-my tracks flack.

Quite the contrary actually.  Starting with TGIM #235 I characterized them as “Universal Rules to Live By.”

But since then a number of folks have engaged me with their thoughtful input on whether what we’re posting are “Rules” or “Secrets” (like the popular program The Secret), or “Laws” or “Guidelines” or “Wisdom” or similar descriptions.

And …

There’s been some questioning of just how to characterize them: Universal …, First … Immutable … Undeniable … or maybe just Useful Rules. (If most things in life were “just useful” imagine how far ahead we’d be.)

And, finally …

Some have commented on the scope of their influence: Rules of Life, … of Success, … of Survival, … of Attraction, … for Getting By.

So --

First of all: Thank you for your input. I appreciate it and hope you’ll stay engaged in such a thoughtful way.

Second: I’ve tried to process all you’ve told me and, now that I have, I’ve formulated what I hope is a satisfactory response.

TGIM Takeaway: You’re right.

You are correct. Whatever your position on what we’ve posted so far, your characterization and interpretation of these – uh, let’s just call them Useful Rules – is absolutely correct. For you.

There’s even a rule for it, sort of. Remember Dr. Spock (no, not the pointy-eared, ever-logical character Leonard Nimoy played in the Star Trek series)? I’m referring to the real, live, earthling Dr. Benjamin Spock; the bestselling author of the baby guide that millions of parents consulted while raising the baby boom generation.

Let’s take his primary bit of advice for new parents, allow it be applied to virtually every situation and call it –

Dr. Spock’s First Rule:

Trust yourself.

You know more than you think you know.

And so it goes for all the rules we have and will be sharing. In fact, so it goes for almost any advice you receive from others that doesn’t sit quite right with you.

So in this spirit (and allowing for The First Rule of Rules which is There’s usually an exception to every rule – including this one) I’m going to press on and continue to share more –

Useful Rules To Live By

In this round, let’s look at “Useful Rules” that, as with Dr. Spock’s Rule, tend to be of a personal nature.

The Useful Rule of …

• Perception: The world is exactly as you perceive it to be.

• Possibility: If you say it’s impossible, it probably is.  And, if you say it’s possible, it probably is.

• Walking the walk: People believe you when they see you living it.

• Setting/achieving goals: Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of the earth. If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it.

• Empowerment: Everyone deserves, at least once a day, for someone else to make them feel significant.

• Honesty: Always tell the truth as you know it, remembering that others may know differently.

• Multi-tasking: One thing at a time.

• Amazement: Take nothing for granted.

• Responsibility: Clean up your own mess.

• Enthusiasm: Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow.

• R-E-S-P-E-C-T (with apologies to Aretha Franklin): If you want to be respected, you must respect yourself (with props to The Staple Singers).

• Belief: Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.

• Opportunity: Is greatest where you are. The lure of the distant is deceptive

• Risk taking: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

• New beginnings: Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

• Persistence: Fall seven times, get up eight.

Do these Useful Rules “work” for you? I hope so.

And beyond Useful, they’re meant to be “Universal” enough so they pass the standard Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) termed –

The Categorical Imperative: Stated in an extremely over-simplified way, that’s the belief that everyone should follow only those principles they would like to see applied universally. Kant defined an imperative as any proposition that declares a certain action (or inaction) to be necessary. And he argued that “immorality” occurs when people set special standards for themselves alone.

Can you play by these rules? Then –

Share please.

Add to the collection with a qualifying rule (or rules) you’re guided by. Post a response. Or reach out directly at tgimguy@gmail.com. Just tell your story to the best of your ability. And if you have a source or attribution, please share that. Thanks.

Wrapping up for today: Since we started with Dr. Spock, and made a passing reference to the Start-Trekking half-human/half-Vulcan science officer, let’s close with a “rule” we know he would endorse.

Mr. Spock’s Rule: Live long and prosper.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square
Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com   

P.S. “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is an organized life.” Immanuel Kant said that.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #326

WHAT’S BETTER THAN THE GOLDEN RULE?

You know “The Golden Rule.” It was the most-received response to last week’s TGIM #325 call for additional Universal Rules worth sharing.

It figures, actually. Scores of influential sources recount the universality of this basic precept of widely held religious and spiritual thinking.

Norman Rockwell created this illustration
which, in 1985,
was rendered as a mosaic
and presented to the United Nations
to celebrate its 40th anniversary.

The most commonly cited versions are rooted in the King James Version of “New Testament” Christianity:

Matthew 7:12 – “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.”

Luke 6:31– “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”

And, in one of those serendipitous moments that make you go “Wow!,” my current bedside reading talks about the so-called Gnostic Gospels -- the cache of sometimes alternative texts from the beginning of the Christian era unearthed in an archeological dig in Egypt in 1945.

There a writing known as the Didache (Greek for “teaching”) written in Syria about ten years before Matthew and Luke opens with a negative version of the so-called Golden Rule:

“The Way of Life is this: First you shall love the God who made you, and your neighbor as yourself; and whatever you do not want to have done to you, do not do to another.”

The other dominant Abrahamic religions stress comparable reasoning in a number of places, most similarly perhaps in:

Leviticus 19:34 – “The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as one of your citizens; you shall love him as yourself…” for the Jewish faith –

And for Islamists, in the Qur’an at various places, stating the positive form of the rule in:

Surah 24 v. 22 -- “...and you should forgive. And overlook: Do you not like God to forgive you? And Allah is The Merciful Forgiving.”

The Golden Rule from A to Z: Almost all A-for-Ancient cultures – Babylonian, Egyptian, Greek, and Chinese -- have addressed The Golden Rule’s idea of ethical reciprocity. (Wikipedia details many, many variants from a wide range of traditions here.)

And, apparently, the Z-for-Zoroastrianism, translated-from-Pahlavi comparative text is Dadistan-I-dinik 94:5 -- “That nature alone is good which refrains from doing unto another whatsoever is not good for itself.”

So, harkening back to today’s headline, it takes a bit of brass (yes, metal pun) to challenge all this wisdom and suggest that, perhaps –

The Golden Rule is flawed. Not fatally, mind you. And certainly not at all if it’s interpreted in the broadest, most generous way, as I expect most TGIM readers are inclined to do.

But here’s the “catch” as the Golden Rule stands: As George Bernard Shaw pointed out, the tastes of those who receive our Golden Rule treatment may not be the same as ours.

So to press our desires (“as ye would that men should do to you”) on them might not be well received at all.

Easy-to-grasp example: We might want other people to ignore our race or nationality when deciding how to act towards us, but would also want them to not ignore our differing preferences in food, musical tastes, desire for closeness, and so on.

TGIM Takeaway: Trying to live according to the Golden Rule means working proactively at empathizing with other people, including those who may be very different from us.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Empathy is at the root of kindness, compassion, understanding and respect – qualities that we all appreciate being shown, whoever we are, whatever we think and wherever we come from.

So the burden to “figure out” what to do and how to do it is on those who promulgate the Golden Rule. And because it isn’t possible to know what it really feels like to be a different person or live in different circumstances and have different life experiences, it’s difficult for most of us to imagine what would cause us suffering and to try to avoid causing suffering to others.

For this reason some people may find the Golden Rule’s corollary (sometimes called The Silver Rule) – “do not treat people in a way you would not wish to be treated yourself” – more pragmatic and easier to put into action.

Or --

With such an important precept, perhaps it’s best to clearly state, in a positive way, the most generous understanding of The Golden Rule’s elements of pragmatic empathy, kindness, reciprocity and acceptance of an “other” point of view from the get go.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Some people call this “improved” version of The Golden Rule –

The Platinum Rule

Do unto others,

wherever reasonable,

as they want to be done by.

Hmmm? Once again we run up against the barrier of knowing just precisely how “they” who differ seriously from us “want to be done by.”

How do you know how others want to be treated?

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: The obvious way is to ask them.

While this may not be easily done if they’re candidates for Platinum Rule treatment, it’s still worth trying. Even if you can’t get an actionable answer, that process presents the best possible way to open a dialogue and allows you to establish your good intentions.

So has this TGIM message “done right” by you?

In the non-sectarian, not-very-scholarly world of TGIM, let’s deem whatever “rule” we endorse –

A consistency principle. It doesn't mean to give all the answers. It doesn’t claim to be an infallible guide to which actions are right or wrong. It only recommends a path to coherence and consistency; that we not have our actions toward others be out of harmony with our desires -- or theirs.

And there’s not much that’s better than that.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square
Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. Just one more point: Whether Platinum … or Gold … or Silver, the “Rule” doesn't replace regular moral norms. If, for example, you don’t believe in killing, no rule or even desire on the part of the person on the other side of your dilemma compels you to violate that conviction.

P.P.S. “Even as wisdom often comes from the mouths of babes, so does it often come from the mouths of old people. The golden rule is to test everything in the light of reason and experience, no matter from where it comes.” Mahatma (the honorific means “Great Soul”) – Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869-1948) said that.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #325

THE WORLD IS FLAT

AND OTHER UNIVERSAL RULES TO LIVE BY

(OR NOT)

The world is flat. In your youthful grammar school days (daze?) weren’t you taught that “flat world” … you’ll sail off the edge … “there be monsters” in the uncharted ocean, were “universal rules” that Christopher Columbus didn’t accept, and by his voyages, subsequently demolished?

Did this picture of Columbus
hang in every grammar school?

If you went to my grammar school when I did (shortly after Chris made his voyages) that was the simplistic lesson that conveyed a kinda complicated --

Kid-hood Takeaway: The history lesson suggested that abiding by conventional wisdom and “universal” rules was, perhaps, not the correct path.

On the other hand: I say the message was kinda complicated because, at least in my upbringing, there were “Universal Rules” that were, no doubt, the correct path. And you defied these at your peril.

Example: The absorbed-in-childhood rule for crossing the street: “Look both ways!” No doubt a necessary bit of guidance.

Example: Or “Don’t talk to strangers” -- a cautionary kid rule which you should now disregard at every networking opportunity.

Example: Or “Do as I say, not as I do.” What’s a kid to make of an imperative like that?

Uh oh …

As good as those rules may be at some point in our growing up, clearly our adult successes are often built around or improved by other rules -- often presumed to be Universal -- which we incorporate into our lives and our philosophies and aspire to live by.

Example: The fundamental Rules of Self-Improvement –

#1: It will be difficult.
#2: It will be worth it.

Got it? Great! So a good rule for getting even more from this TGIM is to consider these –

Universal Rules To Live By

(And even if you don’t find them “Universal”

You’ll no doubt find them Useful)

The Universal/Useful Rule of …

• Time management: Make the time because you’ll never find the time.

• Happiness: Don’t seek happiness. Create it.

• Laughter: Be able to laugh at yourself.

• Winning: The will to win is not nearly as important as the will to prepare to win.

• Preparation: Dig the well before you’re thirsty.

• Sales: Stop selling and start helping.

• Overcoming adversity: The best way to forget your own problems is to help someone else with theirs.

• Getting what you want: Ask for it.

• Dealing with others: Patience.

• Goal setting: Shoot for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll end up among the stars.

• Risk taking: If you don’t take a chance, you’ll never stand a chance.

• A successful product or service: Be first, best, or different.

• Fitness (or healthful living, or weight loss): Eat less and exercise more.

• Overcoming procrastination (aka The Nike Rule): Just do it.

• Starting the day off right: Say “Good morning!” even if it isn’t.

• Being interesting: Be interested.

• Being a great student: Ask good questions.

• Being a great teacher/leader: Keep being a student.

But wait, there’s more.

(Not much more.)

But an important “more.” Although we now know that the many learned folks on the scene in 1492 or thereabouts understood the earth as a globe and other scientific truths, let’s call it --

The Columbus Day Rule

(The rest of the year it’s called The First Rule of Rules.)

There’s usually an exception to every rule

– including this one.

Were these Useful Rules for you? Did they make you smile … or say, “That’s true” … or at least bring some long “forgotten” rule you’re guided by back to top-of-mind awareness?

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Share please. Post a response. Or reach out directly at tgimguy@gmail.com.

It would be cool if your Universal/Useful Rule can be stated concisely like these.

But it’s not necessary. I’d love to read your rules and maybe even include them in future TGIMs.

Just tell your story to the best of your ability. And if you have a source or attribution, please share that. Thanks.

But wait, there’s more.
(But not much more, really.)

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Here are just two more Universal Rules that should guide our thinking:

• • The Last Rule of Rules: Reading these or any other rules is not enough. If they are to work for you, you have to use them.

• • Geoff’s personal rule: Everything Happens For The Best – For Those Who Make It Happen. (EHFTB-FTWMIH.)

Make it happen.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square
Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com   

P.S. “Rules are made up for people who aren’t willing to make up their own.” Charles Elwood "Chuck" Yeager -- retired major general in the United States Air Force and noted test pilot (the first pilot to travel faster than sound in1947) said that. 

Thank Goodness It's Monday #324

8 PROVEN-IN-ACTION WAYS

TO DEFUSE CONFLICT

All too often people who interact frequently are at odds with one another; particularly in today’s economically pressured workplace.

Out of the frying pan: People behaving badly inevitably make matters worse, hamper the productivity of the group and can affect the well-being of everyone concerned.

Into the fire: It just takes two folks battling to create workplace-wide tension, cause bottle necks in workflow, stop projects and profits dead in their tracks.

But is it your responsibility to bring warring parties together, help them sort out their differences and create a harmonious atmosphere?

As a diligent TGIM reader you probably suspect it is.

And, if you’ve got the tools to do the job, maybe it is.

So let’s see if we can give you some of those tools.

The critical first steps: How do you determine if The Situation (No Governor Christie, not the Jersey Shore character, although …) is serious enough to warrant your intervention?

Here are some guidelines:

► Are the people involved constantly overreacting? Is their behavior disproportionate to the severity of the situation?

Case In point: If two people are having a screaming match about a document – say, a new product spec sheet -- it probably signals that the conflict goes much deeper than a disagreement about quality of printing or the graphic design.

► Have issues become inextricably entangled with the personalities involved?

Case In point: Sometimes a person will reject a proposal or refuse to back a project just to defy the person who proposed it, regardless of its merit or lack thereof.

► Is everyone hearing the same thing?

Case In point: Often when people are at odds they misconstrue everything the other says, invariably assuming the worst. Do you get two completely different stories when you talk to each person alone? That’s indicative of a communication problem. The question then becomes “How bad a problem?” Communication may be blocked by misconceptions or, at the extreme, may be nonexistent.

In situations such as these it might be beneficial to intercede and mediate between feuding parties.

Here are 8 proven-in-action steps for defusing conflict. You may fill in your own best practices at any step along the way:

1: Get to Switzerland. Get those involved to hash out the problem in neutral territory. Meet in a conference room, maybe your office, maybe off premises – but not in either party’s “territory.”

2: Come together. If possible, seat opposing parties close to each other. In most cases it’s harder to stay hostile when the opposition is close. Choose a seating arrangement that invites discussion, for example, at a round table or in a circle or semi-circle so no on appears to be in charge. Sit with them, not behind a desk or at the head of the table or such.

3: Become “Swiss.” Act as intermediary. Leave your own biases at the door. Don’t appear to take sides during the meeting even if you favor a particular point of view. Remain cool and calm, even if the discussion gets heated.

4: Get the facts. If the situation involves documents or evidence, make sure everyone knows the need to provide them in advance and put copies in hands of each opponent in advance. Listen to each side in turn. Don’t let either party interrupt the other. Record your impressions.

5: Help clarify misunderstandings. “Bob, you thought that your Marketing Department takes the lead here, is that correct? “And Sue, you believed that it was the responsibility of Sales?”

6: Act as a conciliator. Help both parties see and reach an amicable solution. “Bob, what if the next time you receive a spec list from Engineering, you schedule a three-Department sit-down including Sales to establish a priority order of the features and benefits for the promo material?” “Who do you think would best represent Sales in that meeting, Sue; you or a particular rep who you’d designate?”

7: Let them hash it out. If the solution is not immediately apparent, ask both parties to reach a middle ground themselves. Set a deadline. “We’ll meet again on Wednesday. Please come prepared with ways this issue can be resolved.”

8: Pull rank only if necessary. Be willing to arbitrate and stand firm by your judgment. If the parties can’t come up with their own solution, devise one of your own (get higher-up permission if necessary). At what seems the final impasse, announce your intent, but not your solution. “Since neither of you can see how to proceed, I’ll settle it. And I’ll expect you to abide by my decision. So before I do, please make one more try.”

TGIM ACTION STEPS ROUNDUP: If these steps and opportunities don’t get people in conflict to pull together, plan how you will enforce your #8 settlement, impose it and back up your words with action.

That’s what I’m doing now. I promised 8 guidelines at the start. And I suggested that you had the opportunity to add your own best practices. So go use them.

Now I’m backing up my words with action and ending this TGIM.

And I don’t expect to hear any grousing about it.  

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square
Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com   

P.S. “Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”  William James (1842-1910) Psychologist and pragmatic leader of the philosophical movement of Pragmatism said that.      

Sound the shofar. Welcome a New Year, 5772

MAY YOU BE INSCRIBED AND SEALED

FOR A GOOD YEAR

L'shanah tovah . That’s the greeting commonly exchanged on Rosh Hashanah – commonly known as the Jewish New Year.

The sentiment is understood to mean "for a good year.” It’s the quickie shortening of the sentiment "L'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatem" (or, according to the Judaism 101 website, to women, "L'shanah tovah tikatevi v'taihatemi"), which means –

"May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year."

In a Washington Post photo (Steve Jessmore - AP) 
Harel Cohen, age 6,
 blows a shofar,
typically made from a rams horn,
to commemorate Rosh Hashanah.        

In Hebrew, Rosh Hashanah means, literally, "head of the year" or "first of the year." The holiday is instituted in Leviticus 23:24-25, where Moses is instructed, “Say to the Israelites: ‘On the first day of the seventh month you are to have a day of sabbath rest, a sacred assembly commemorated with trumpet blasts.’”

Of course there is little similarity between Rosh Hashanah, one of the holiest days of the year for Jews, and the December 31 midnight bash followed by a New Year’s Day of endless football “bowl” games.

There is, however, at least one important similarity between the Jewish New Year and the “traditional” non-sectarian one:

• Many of us, regardless of religious convictions, use the December-becomes-January New Year as a time to plan a better life, making "resolutions."
• Likewise, the Jewish New Year is a time to look back at the mistakes of the past year and plan the changes to make in the days ahead.

The ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are commonly known as the Days of Awe or the Days of Repentance. This is a time for serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and repent before Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.

One of the ongoing themes of the Days of Awe is the concept that there are “books" where a supreme deity records our names, writing down who will live and who will die … who will have a good life and who will have a bad life, for the next year.

These books are written in on Rosh Hashanah, but our actions during the Days of Awe can alter the divine decree. The actions that change the decree are repentance, prayer and good deeds (usually, charity). These books are "sealed" on Yom Kippur.  

This concept of writing in books is the source of the "May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year" greeting.

No matter the source or depth of your beliefs, the underlying concepts of Rosh Hashanah -- spiritual introspection, retrospection and resolve -- and/or December 31 secular “resolutions” have legitimacy and power. 

As the co-creator with my friend Eric Taylor of a very secular “How To Have Your Best Year Ever” program I’m fond of reminding folks that a “new” year begins whenever you decide to change things. 

And the start of the Jewish Year of 5772 fits that standard. 

Sound the shofar.  

Striving to be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life. 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373

tgimguy@gmail.com   

P.S. Another popular practice of the holiday is Tashlikh ("casting off") in which the observant walk to flowing water, such as a creek or river, on the afternoon of the first day and empty their pockets into the river, symbolically casting off their sins. Small pieces of bread are commonly put in the pocket to cast off. This practice is not discussed in the Bible, but is a long-standing custom.

Thank Goodness It's Monday #323

THE LESSON OF

THE BEST CUPCAKES IN TOWN

 I live in a town that, along with the rest of the USA of late, has been caught up in “gourmet cupcake mania.”

Cupcake array

with the not-so-subliminal

Alice in Wonderland

“Eat me” message.

More specifically, as higher-rent storefronts along the main street and around the “fashionable” downtown retail district become available, they are occupied by well-intended-but-unproven “bakers” plying their trade with offerings of high-end cupcakes and other Cake-Boss-wannabe bakery goods.

A tasty idea, certainly.

But --

Most of these enterprises don’t last the length of their leases.

Blame it on the cooking shows, lifestyle magazines and cable channels I guess. The reality of the business is --

It’s not as glamorous as it seems. Surely there are many factors contributing to the quick demise of these cupcake emporiums, starting with the naming process.

Can “KupKake Korner” really be an enduring business? House o’ Cupcakes? YumYum Cupcakes? CupCake Corral? Brownie Points?

But I digress …

Just call me The Cupcake Curmudgeon.

Catchy names aside: Any moderately successful business person might intuit some of the lack-of-longevity causes. And other troublesome factors are, no doubt, unique to the business of baking. So few outside the industry have an intimate enough understanding to discuss knowledgably.

But still –

That didn’t stop me from griping about this entrepreneurial foolhardiness at a recent breakfast gathering of “trusted advisors.”

And there a friend shared the following story of a cupcake entrepreneur who, in the search for perfection, nearly sacrificed her success.

The beginnings of the tale – apocryphal, I suspect, but instructive nonetheless – have a familiar ring.

Praised as a homemaker for providing “the best tasting, most popular cookies” and cupcakes and other bake goods for all manner of grammar school birthday parties, PTA fundraisers, Scout outings, and the like -- and encouraged by her family -- she took modest steps toward making her baking into a profit-making enterprise.

And, surprise!

Her dough started making dough. (I couldn’t resist.) Her early commercial efforts were rewarded with success.

But as demand and production rose, she worried that the non-uniform shape of her output didn’t measure up to her high standards and did not reflect well on her. Despite a pretty good grip on the business basics --

The baker became so caught up with the ideal of striving for perfect, unvarying cookies that production stalled.

Sure, every cookie and cupcake delivered by the bakery was perfectly and uniformly proportioned. But to achieve this perfect output, shipments were delayed, new marketing went untended, and the new enterprise slipped back from a promising start and was barely breaking even.

Kid wisdom to the rescue. In the midst of this journey to the brink of disaster, one of the baker’s children observed –

“Gee, Mom ... 

All your cookies look just like the packaged kind.”

In that moment the baker realized that her core customers weren’t necessarily looking for or buying "perfection."

No one cared much about the uniformity of her cookies and cupcakes.

They cared about the taste. Making “the best tasting cookies in town” resumed – with each baked good having its own unique shape.

No “cookie cutter” cookies. Sales picked up, productivity kept pace easily, and the business expanded. And not one cookie in the batch looks exactly like another.

TGIM Takeaway: Striving for perfection is noble and good. But keep in mind that what’s “perfect” is often unattainable and may actually be undesirable.

As Shakespeare observed in King Lear: “Striving to be better, we oft mar what’s well.”

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Set and aim for lofty goals. Just make sure your passion matches the desire of the world at large.

And that’s one way to insure that the cookie doesn’t crumble.

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing
8 Depot Square
Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com   

P.S. Icing on the cake:

         “Ring the bells that still can ring.

          Forget your perfect offering.
         There is a crack, a crack in everything.
        That's how the light gets in.”

Singer, songwriter and poet Leonard Cohen sang that chorus in Anthem, a song he claimed took him 10 years to write. It was released around 1992. 

Thank Goodness It's Monday #322

WHAT MAKES A KING OUT OF A SLAVE?

That question was posed by Bert Lahr in his role as The Cowardly Lion in the movie classic, “The Wizard of Oz.” 

Remember it? He answers rhetorically, “Courage!” 

In the movie the bit where it appears continues:

Cowardly Lion:

Bert Lahr
as The Cowardly Lion
imagines himself
"King of the Forest"

What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage.

What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk?

What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage.

What makes the Sphinx the 7th Wonder? Courage.

What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?! Courage.

What makes the Hottentot so hot?

What puts the "ape" in ape-ricot?

Whatta they got that I ain't got? 

Dorothy & Friends:  Courage! 

Cowardly Lion: You can say that again. 

Courage is a word that appeared often recently – and rightly, I think – relative to the 10-year anniversary of the events of 9/11. 

But I also think extraordinary events produce extraordinary behaviors and that the courageous examples exhibited by so many on that occasion are the exception, not the rule, in daily life. 

Evidence: The character of The Cowardly Lion. As with all the characters central to the Oz fable, it’s the long-term recognition of some aspect of universal human frailty in each of them that makes the story still attractive and resonant.  

• Like the Wizard, we all have a touch of humbug.
• Like the Tin Man, we all suffer from a lack of “heart” from time to time.
• Like the Scarecrow, we have moments when we neglect to use our brains.
• Like Dorothy, too often we aren’t appreciative of the good things that surround us daily.
• Like the Wicked Witch, we can be entirely self-absorbed and greedy beyond our needs.
• Even like Glinda the Good Witch – “Only bad witches are ugly,” she comments -- we can neglect to fill people in with the knowledge we possess that would make their lives dramatically less complex.

(I’ll spare Toto harsh comparisons although he doesn’t do much more than dog around after the Yellow Brick Road Quartet. But, after all, he is a “real” four-legged dog doing what comes naturally, I guess.) 

Still, setting that recap of foibles aside, let’s focus today on the trait that brought this all to mind: Courage. 

As I type and right-click the word, my computer gives synonyms like bravery, guts, nerve, valor, daring, audacity, fearlessness, fortitude, spirit. 

But those are just words that might replace the word “courage” in a sentence. 

What concerns us daily in the real world when we’re trying to get past our Cowardly Lion mode is, I feel, the concept of “having the courage of one’s convictions.”  

TGIM ACTION IDEA: More than “having courage” we want to be courageous; to act in accordance with what we believe, in spite of fear of danger -- or criticism. 

We seldom need to prepare ourselves for the bravery required of first-responders or soldiers in combat. But we do need to summon courage to face individual fears that, at some level, are their equal. And we must face choices that, for a similar reason, are difficult for us and so require an extra level of courage and conviction to make without conforming or compromising. 

Worse: We go up against many of these situations armed only with the school-yard axiom – “Be brave … but not stupid.” 

Thanks a lot!  

So maybe there’s a clue about “how to be courageous” in the little speech the Wizard makes before he grants the Cowardly Lion’s request for “Courage.”  

The Wizard speechifies: 

“As for you my fine friend, you are a victim or disorganized thinking.

You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage!

You are confusing courage with wisdom.

The Cowardly Lion
receives his
Triple Cross
Legion of Courage

Back where I come from we have men who are called heroes.

Once a year they take their fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the city.

And they have no more courage than you have.

But, they have one thing that you haven't got!

A medal!!

Therefore, for meritorious conduct, extraordinary valor, conspicuous bravery against wicked witches, I award you the Triple Cross.

You are now a member of the Legion of Courage!” 

Better, perhaps. But still not very actionable.  So let’s conjure up some --  

TGIM IDEAS IN ACTION: Here are a handful of proven-in-action courage-fortifying steps: 

►Believe in yourself. Find yourself and your values and define yourself on your terms. Find the time to contemplate and challenge your ideals and take time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. As part of this, reflect on your life and choices. Try to think about what kinds of things you would or wouldn't like to do, and prepare in advance to act accordingly. 

►Surround yourself with people who understand and believe in you. Just like the Oz foursome. A courageous sense of self-value can be enhanced if you give yourself the opportunity to be part of a group that thinks it must do something. Believing in the worth of the skills and abilities you contribute is key to using them well and this is bolstered by the acknowledgement and compliments of those who care about you. 

►Have a good attitude. When faced with something frightening, think of it as a challenge that can be changed into an opportunity. It’s clichéd in part because there’s great truth underlying it. 

Even stronger, adjust your mindset and –  

►Turn the challenge into a duty that you have to do. That’s the lesson of the mindset of first responders. When you have the courage of that level of conviction, you can just deal with situations that appear to call for extraordinary courage. When you do not have to question the circumstances … when you must face them, you suddenly find yourself reaching on reserves inside yourself that you probably didn't realize were there.  

►Start with small things to gain confidence. Take less consequential, small steps and accept the challenge (opportunity/duty) of small choices to gain confidence in your ability to be courageous. Trust your instincts, skills and judgment and face the challenge head on. 

►Don't hesitate. As you become secure in your ability to make good choices and thereby accomplish brave things, you can gain confidence in yourself and be more secure about your abilities in general. If you can swim and dive from the low board, taking too much of a pause before “taking the plunge” from a higher board doesn’t help. Climb up, quickly assess the situation for the simplest, safest option and go for it. Then build from there. 

That’s about it for today’s TGIM. I’m going to be courageous and stop now so we all have the opportunity to test our newly enhanced skills.  

Now everyone join with me and The Cowardly Lion and say in your best Bert Lahr voice -- 

“Read what my medal says: ‘Courage’. Ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth?” 

Claiming a place as King of the Forest. 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373

tgimguy@gmail.com     

P.S.  “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Courageous, limit-pushing author and diarist Anaïs Nin (1903-1977) said that.