Thank Goodness It's Monday #336

TRY SETTING RESOLUTIONS “MY WAY” FOR 2012

“Regrets, I’ve had a few --

Released March 1969

But then again, too few to mention.”  

It was Frank Sinatra who first sang “My Way” into music history, of course. 

Paul Anka, a singer/songwriter of a slightly different generation actually wrote the lyrics (with Sinatra in mind, he says) and set it to music based on a French song with a similar perspective to which Anka had acquired the rights.

Some claim it’s the most covered song of all time. In fact, Anka himself recorded the song in 1969 shortly after Sinatra’s rendition was released, in part to appease his record company who thought he should have kept it for himself originally. (I guess they had some regrets.)

Lyric storyline synopsis: A person, perhaps near death, looking back at life, takes responsibility for how he (or she) dealt with the twists and turns of that life. The singer gives the impression that he/she is comfortable with what’s transpired and claims to have maintained a respectable degree of integrity. 

TGIM factoid: According to the British newspaper The Guardian, "My Way" is the song most frequently played at British funeral services. 

What does all this have to do with making New Year resolutions? 

In this last week of 2011, as we get down to making all those forward-looking 2012 resolutions, many will begin the process by looking back at all the broken, failed, half-kept declarations made at the start of the year now drawing to a close. 

It’s in our nature. And it’s in our nature to look back at “what we have not accomplished but meant to” with regret.

Then we rewrite our 2011 list afresh, perhaps adding a new “resolution” or two, and tell ourselves –

This year it will be different.

Guess what? It won’t be much different if the process you employ is built on a foundation of regret. That path is circular ... goes nowhere new ... and serves no one well.

I don’t want to insult you, but: Building on regret is much like the observation: "Insanity is when you keep doing the same things expecting different results."

So this year perhaps we should try the –

“My Way” Resolution-Setting Strategy

In resolving for the days ahead, try to accept the mistakes or failures or setbacks (we all have “a few”) that you might otherwise “regret” as history. Treat them as a passing and past part of the whole of life that has promising days (ideally many such days) ahead.

TGIM ACTION IDEA: Don’t be so occupied with looking backward that you miss the opportunities out in front of you. Make up your mind to learn from regrettable experience. Don’t repeat errors that you’re aware of.

TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Make your regrets “too few” and “too little” to mention. Make peace with the outcome of your prior decisions and the events they engendered. Acknowledge the experiences that led up to who you are where you are today. Then choose to move on.

Here are some proven-in-action steps to that end:

• Accept the circumstance. Don’t succumb to the blame game. Take responsibility for what you might have handled better but don’t be weighed down with regret.
• Grieve if you must. But do it with the intention of allowing yourself to feel the sadness … anger … guilt … whatever … and then –
• Get over it. Stop re-living and revisiting those debilitating emotions. Don’t dwell on results that didn’t measure up to your expectations.
• Concentrate you full powers on going forward. Recognize what you have learned or gained and the opportunities that are now yours.  Set your sights on becoming a better person, whatever that means for you.
• Saying “Sorry” counts. Unless you’re responsible for something profoundly horrible – in which case you are well advised to seek truly professional guidance -- make appropriate and necessary apologies. 
• Forgive, even if you can’t completely forget. Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness from others and make amends if you’re able. Then let time heal any wounds.

You can’t change the past. No one can. But neither can you let the past inhibit moving forward and ruin today, as well as the future.  

You move forward most easily by not staring too hard and too long in the rearview mirror. (In this regard the “Objects in mirror …” cautionary notice should probably be amended to include “Are distorted” as well as “Are closer than they appear.”) 

“Regrets, I’ve had a few.” In any life lived with energy and enthusiasm there will certainly be regrettable circumstances. However, regrets can become either burdens that interfere with your present happiness and restrict your future, or – 

Motivation to move forward. Apply a little of the mental judo suggested above with the intention of diminishing inhibiting regrets and flipping them forever into “Too few to mention” status.  

Then get busy resolving and creating a success-filled 2012 and beyond.  

Thank you, my friends, for sticking around and reading this year’s worth of TGIM messages. I hope you don’t regret the time you put in.  

I don’t regret it. Oh no. Oh no, not me. I did what I had to do. And did it, “My way.” 

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373

tgimguy@gmail.com     

P.S.  Maybe this New Year’s Eve -- before you get to singing “Auld Lang Syne” --you’ll consider the “My Way” opening “And now the end is near ...” phrase as the coda to 2011 and want to sing along. 

So here are the Frank-Sinatra-styled lyrics for you:  

And now the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

My friend I'll say it clear

I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full

I traveled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few

But then again, too few to mention

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course,

Each careful step along the byway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew

When I bit off more than I could chew

But through it all, when there was doubt

I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall

And did it my way 

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

I've had my fill, my share of losing

And now as tears subside

I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that

And may I say, not in a shy way

“Oh no. Oh no, not me”

I did it my way 

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught

To say the things he truly feels

And not the words of one who kneels

The record shows I took the blows

And did it my way 

Yes, it was my way!

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