"A MAN HEARS WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR
AND DISREGARDS THE REST"
Music fans of a
certain age may recognize today’s headline from “The Boxer” -- the Paul-Simon-authored late-‘60s “folk rock”
follow-up to the iconic “Mrs. Robinson”
from the movie The Graduate.
It’s an interesting bit
of music. If you care, there’s much discussion about the making of the song
and what it means and such in easily discovered music threads in the digital
world.
For TGIM purposes: This bit of lyric is
a good synopsis of how selective we can be when it comes to listening. And I’m
airing that laundry this week as a lead in to the coming-this-Thursday “Speak
Like A Pro!” event featuring my friend Eric Taylor. (Sign up info is at
the bottom of this message.)
Since Eric will be talking about talking –
I’ve decided to write
about listening. So think of this as a warm-up exercise that enables you to
get the most from the time you invest there.
And if you can’t make it --
Don’t quit reading
yet. This TGIM message is not event-specific.
The how-to-improve-your-listening-habits steps that follow should
work to your advantage any time you’re solidly on the “listening” side of the
equation – at any presentation … business meeting … gathering of a chamber or
municipal or civic or fraternal group … religious education … political
harangue … classroom/lecture hall/higher education circumstances … wherever….
Let’s begin with a –
Useful Factoid: In
most situations, people talk at a rate somewhere between 120 and 150 words per
minute. However … studies indicate that, depending on the subject and the
individual, you can process information anywhere from 500 to 800 words per
minute.
TGIM Takeaway: This disparity between rate of speech and the
ability to figure out where the speaker is headed is one reason attention tends
to wander. So –
● Understand and use the differential between the speed of
speaking and the speed of thinking.
Poor
listeners drift back and forth between a presentation and thoughts about
other things.
Effective
listeners use the thinking/speaking differential in three ways:
1. Riding the crest of the wave by
trying to anticipate the next point of the presentation.
2. Evaluating what the presenter is
using for supporting evidence.
3. Periodically summarizing the
information provided to them.
● Stay attentive.
Poor
listeners let their minds to wander.
Effective
listeners remain focused and actively try to absorb material.
● Aggressively tackle difficult material.
When poor listeners encounter a tough topic, they stop absorbing and let
things start bouncing off them.
Effective
listeners condition themselves to be interested in challenging matters.
They confront difficulties in grasping the meaning of what is being said -- no
matter how complex or demanding the subject.
● Don't get derailed by emotionally charged words or visuals
that trigger negative responses.
Poor
listeners tune people out on the basis of a few words.
Effective
listeners don't let the emotional baggage of a word hinder them from
getting at the substance of a lecture.
● Choose to find the subject useful.
Poor
listeners dismiss information they don’t easily relate to as dull and
irrelevant. They turn off quickly.
Effective
listeners separate the wheat from the chaff. They choose to listen in order
to discover new knowledge.
● Concentrate on the words and message, not on the presenter’s
looks, clothes or delivery.
Poor
listeners focus on the faults in a lecturer's appearance or delivery.
Effective
listeners strive to tap the presenter’s brain for self-gain. What they
watch for especially are the visual cues and clues that add more meaning to the
words alone, floating in the air.
● React slowly and thoughtfully when you hear something you're
not sure you agree with.
Poor
listeners stop listening to the speaker and start listening to the
self-talk that gets going in their head. They either passively reject what is
being said or they launch into impassioned rebuttals (to themselves).
Effective
listeners don't jump to conclusions and then disengage. They keep
conclusions tentative while getting more information. They listen for what they
don’t know. And when they hear what they do
know, they ask themselves, “How well do I know that or do that?”
● Identify the "big ideas" -- those fundamental
concepts to which everything else in the presentation or lecture is related.
Poor
listeners say, "I listen only for facts." They may retain a few
of those facts, but the information is usually garbled.
Effective
listeners are alert for foundational concepts. They grab key ideas and use
them as anchor points for mastering the “whole” of the entire lecture.
● Adjust note taking to the dynamics of the situation.
Some poor listeners attempt to outline everything, believing an outline
and notes are the same thing. They get frustrated when they cannot see
"points A, B and C."
Effective
listeners adjust their note-taking to the organizational pattern used by
the presenter and piggyback on any handouts or other aids provided.
In summary: Keep open
the doors of perception. Perception, or your way of receiving an idea or
issue, shapes how well and how much of the message you will receive and retain.
We each listen to the spoken word with a set of experiences
and knowledge through which we filter what we hear. This is part of the reason
that 50 people, if asked to write a synopsis of a presentation they have just
heard, will produce 50 different and sometimes widely varying messages.
TGIM ACTION IDEA: Practice concentration. Many people – even
“smart” people – don’t take the trouble to discipline their minds. Overcoming
mental laziness is just like any other bad habit; you have to work on it.
TGIM IDEA IN ACTION: Be idea receptive. Be aware of your
expectations and perceptions. Once you make the decision to attend a
presentation, set aside the notion of how nonproductive you expect the session
to be and listen receptively.
Just as with the social occasion that you dread attending
and end up enjoying, meetings and presentations for which you harbor advance
negative feelings can be surprisingly informative and useful if you remain idea
receptive.
Listen: I enjoyed
“speaking” to you here today via the power of the written word and I thank you
for “listening” attentively.
Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing
P.S. And speaking of listening effectively, let’s
give business-thought leader Peter Drucker (1909-2005) the last word: “The most important thing in communication
is to hear what isn’t being said.”
P.P.S. Now that
you have these top-of-the-line skills, please listen to this –
IMPORTANT MESSAGE:
You must ACT NOW …
Less than 20 seats remain, even in the
expanded “Ballroom” setting.
The event will be a SELL OUT (again).
When you hear about how much you missed, you
will regret not having been there, live and in person.
What? Where?
Speak Like A Pro!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
at The Sheraton Hotel & Conference
Center
Eatontown, NJ
Click through IMMEDIATELY
-- www.EricTaylorSpeaker.com
-- to get all of the details and register NOW.
Hope you can get in
under the wire. I look forward to seeing you there.
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