We Hid Some Matzoh ...

WELCOMING THE SPRING HOLIDAYS

In my household we generally prefer a humanist approach to "religious" holidays, all the while acknowledging and honoring cultural and family traditions.

President Obama
hosting a White House Seder
in 2009.

In this spirit, we'll celebrate Springtime renewal and rebirth with our version of a Passover Seder on Friday evening.

 

President Obama and family
joined by the Easter Bunny
for the traditional
White House Easter Egg Roll,
also in 2009

And ...

Remembering that the so-called "Last Supper" of Christianity is rooted in a Passover Seder, we'll keep the connection in mind as we keep an eye out for bunnies, brightly dyed eggs and candy treats on Easter Sunday.

At our Seder we'll use a Haggadah (the book that guides the order of the Passover meal; Haggadah means "telling") that has been adapted over the years from a variety of sources, from the classic Maxwell House text to quite secular references.

In many Passover observances the meal (which includes four cups of wine) involves long discussions of what transpired, why and how it should be interpreted through the ages. This can consume a big stretch of time and, despite traditions that are meant to include the participation of young people, can actually be a bit wearing on all gathered -- wine consumption notwithstanding. 

So here's a time-saving solution. When I searched my computer for the past year's edition of our Homegrown Haggadah to update for 2012, I found this Two-minute Haggadah, a bit of humor I saved from sources unknown some years ago.

I found it entertaining and hope you do as well.

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The Two-Minute Haggadah

A Passover service for the impatient.

Opening prayers: Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)
Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)

Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we're free. That's why we're doing this.

Four Questions: 1. What's up with the matzoh?
2. What's the deal with horseradish?
3. What's with the dipping of the herbs?
4. What's this whole slouching at the table business?

Answers: 1. When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread.
2. Life was bitter, like horseradish.
3. It's called symbolism.
4. Free people get to slouch.

(Heat soup now.)

The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:
Wise child—explain Passover.
Simple child—explain Passover slowly.
Silent child—explain Passover loudly.
Wicked child—browbeat in front of the relatives.

Speaking of children: We hid some matzoh. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.

The story of Passover: It's a long time ago. We're slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzoh. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren't so lucky. We wander 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again.

****

To All: Spring is the season of new growth and new life. Every living thing must either grow or die; growth is a sign and condition of life. The most significant growth for a human being takes place inwardly. We grow as we achieve new insights, new knowledge, new goals.

My wish for you: Zeisen Pesach … Happy Easter … Shalom … Peace …

Geoff Steck
Chief Catalyst
Alexander Publishing & Marketing

8 Depot Square

Englewood, NJ 07631
201-569-5373
tgimguy@gmail.com

P.S. I'll email you a copy of our slightly longer, bit more traditional, Homegrown Haggadah if you reach out to tgimguy@gmail.com. Just put Haggadah 2012 in the subject line. I'll bounce back an attachment asap (hey, I've got a lot of eggs to hardboil for both traditions).